Pursued

10 years ago. Well, more than 10 years ago but at this point it seems like a life time has passed.  Backing up a little further than that, Satan sifted me & my standards and I fell into sin.  I not only knew what God’s Word had to say about it, but He Himself practically yelled in my heart to stop just before sinning this particular sin.  The sin was blatant disobedience.

The next day I was devastated: severely overwhelmed by grief, laid waste. I’m not sure if I’ve ever been the same. (maybe just this month I received total healing from it).  Guilt, regret, and depression laid into me like a gale force wind and I’ve struggled with those feelings ever since.  This is a prime example of a time God desperately wanted me to run TO Him, straight INTO His Loving embrace to receive forgiveness and love, instead of what I did.  I ran as far away from Him as my heart could take me without further fear of Him.  I was certain He MUST surely hate me.  The enemy had his foothold to whisper whatever lie he wanted in my life and I believed him.  Giving the enemy any foothold allows him to drag you for miles; it was painful.  There were several years in the past 10+, up til maybe a year ago that I was suicidal.  But why would I take my life just to go face a God I was certain hated me? That just seemed counterintuitive. 

It wasn’t that original sin that kept me in bondage this whole time; no, it was believing lies.  You know... those lies the enemy of our souls loves to whisper to us?  Lies telling us that we’re worthless, stupid, unloveable, hated, trash, useless, that we can do nothing right, that we’re not good enough... oh! the lies just go on an on don’t they!? DO NOT BELIEVE THE LIES!!  Believe the God of Truth! He only wants to help make me (you) be the best I (you) can be!! No reason to wallow in self pity as the enemy wants; no one is perfect but Christ!   The truth is you are worth more than diamonds, you are not stupid, you are lovable, you are loved by the Creator of the Universe, you are priceless, you have purpose, you can do all things through Christ who Strengthens you, you are more than enough...!!!  He wants to bring you into the wholeness of who you were created to be, allow Him to do that, wear it.

God pursued me. Looking back now I can see how He brought specific people in my life to help me. My husband for starters is the most encouraging person; he is my cheerleader and I genuinely hope I am his too.  He helped me find my confidence again and he loves me unconditionally & without hesitation. I’m so glad I listened to God when He told me I loved him and needed to marry him!  Marrying Scott is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made (this May 25th will make 10 years since we met on the National Mall).  He also used my Mary Kay business & my specific director to give me a sense of purpose again, to stir my heart toward His calling on my life, to rekindle the flame of truth in my life, among other things.  He will use whatever it takes to coax us back to receiving His Love again in the safety of His embrace. There were lots of friends in between who came, went, or stayed who have loved me despite why I thought God hated me. They are the hands and feet of Christ. Love others unconditionally and with out hesitation; we all need it & no one is perfect!

I love  Casting Crowns' song "Voice of Truth" listen by clicking on this link: 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68q8y5nkdPo

I listened to this song tonight, 22 days after the original post date,  and immediately thought to post the link here!: 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOyNOzCGZ1c&feature=list_related&playnext=1&list=AL94UKMTqg-9Cx2ycOWVWQQaP1Zb4ait2q