Water Play

Earlier today, Nathan was crying and begging me for something. If the weather is warm we'll let him play with the water hose, spraying down everything even getting himself and sisters drenched with all their clothes on. Today the weather was in the 60s and as far as I'm concerned is not warm enough for a little kid to get soaking wet outside, so I told him no. Its not that he could never play in the water ever again, just not today. He cried and cried and repeatedly said "water play"... really it was so sad and I really wanted to just let him play in it. I stuck to my guns though, I'm totally not interested in this cough that they all suddenly have to progress into anything more than a viral cold. So I said no. I said no a lot. I made every effort to get his attention on something else & finally he spotted Madelyn happily swinging & he stopped crying, gasped, declared "swing!!" and made a B-line for the available swing. He then played outside swinging and doing all kinds of other fun things that did not include getting wet, & the crying episode lasted so long that I was unsure he'd ever chose to be happy doing something else.

AND

WOW!!!!! Do I feel like that with God sometimes!!! ... a lot of times... today... Its like I'm this crying toddler totally focused on something that God is telling me "no" about and I have no idea if its 'no' for forever or not. There are so many other fun things to do, but I want what I want when I want it exactly like my 2 year old son. I stay focused on the object of my desire instead of the million other things God is providing for me. I could be enjoying so many fun things rather than this 1 thing. It's so sad its almost humorous to see myself as I saw my toddler son today. I'm crying "water play" and God is saying "hey, dont cry, you love the slide, why don't you go down the slide? I'll say YAY!!... what about the swing?....its ok, smile dont cry... the trampoline always makes you smile... do you need a nap? are you sleepy? where's you're sippy cup?" Of course all of those things represent something in my life that God is showing me to stay focused on and not to be so concerned with 'water play' while its 60 degrees outside. It might be the season, but today is not the day.

I love the song "Human" by Natalie Grant; look it up on youtube if you have a minute. It strikes me in my heart when she sings, "we gotta do better than this cause we only got one chance to make a difference, we gotta do better than this cause we only got one life that we've been given." Goes right along with the verses used in yesterday's post. I've got one chance to be the wife and Mom God wants me to be, I've got one life to give to God and my family. One life and it is so short. I want to enjoy all the yeses God has on my life, it would be so much more fun than crying over the no's.

Thank you for Your mercy God! and thank you for carrying me daily, even when I'm sobbing over "water play". <3

Rebuild

I've been reading through the old testament and the temple is talked about a lot! a lot, a lot! Its a place to give to God, to be with God, to pray, to ask forgiveness... It got built and used for exactly what God purposed it for, then when evil kings rule gets used for other gods & sin, then gets demolished somewhere along the way, and finally God presses on a godly King's heart to rebuild. In Ezra 1 King Cyrus tells the people that the Lord appointed him to build Him a house in Jerusalem... and all the people who worshiped the Lord could go up and rebuild the house of the Lord. They started getting things in order: 1st King Cyrus returned the articles of the house of the Lord which Nebuchadnezzar had carried away, then they got all the specific people in order, and they restored the altar and sacrifices. When the foundation of the temple of the Lord was finally laid the people shouted or sang or cried with excitement and the sound of all the people was so loud it could be heard a distance away.
As I read through this story 1 Corinthians 6:19 came to mind, "Do you not know that your body is a temple ofthe Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?" (NIV).

I feel that at the beginning of March when I began to receive God's Love again for the first time in ages was like this picture of the foundation being laid again. And all of heaven shouted with excitement! Luke 15:10, "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents" (NIV). My repentance was opening myself up to Gods Love again and living securely in it.

Once the foundation to any building is laid there is a lot of work that goes into it. The Lord is doing the work by showing me what to do. Some things I'd just assume keep in my life, but God sees the big picture so some things get moved to the side and then I can see how much more He wanted to give me or lead me into. Philippians 3:8, "Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded-everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ" (NIV). Honestly, this verse makes me a little nervous and I'm not sure why. The author is really just saying that Christ is the most important part of his life, everything else in his life is garbage in comparison. Being as in Love with Him as He is with me would be pretty cool. I'm not there, but I plan to get as close as humanly possible. To continue to receive His Love and learn to give Him mine I think there are some unaddressed feelings & fears I have wadded up in my heart. These are some of the things I'm giving to God at the moment. It'll clear some space to rebuild.

Hide and Seek

There have been several times over the last 10ish years that I've asked God what to do in specific situations, but not constantly or consistently.  There was a lot more hiding in the last 10+ years than there was seeking.  Today, I realized that I still have a tendency to do things without acknowledging Him or asking Him if such and such is what I should or shouldn't do.  Today I made a decision with out asking Him because I was afraid He'd say no; He probably would have.  I hid.

I'm tired of hiding my life from God. I'm sick of this habit.  I want to seek God, like when a child playing hide and go seek is "it" and seeks his friends who are hiding with everything he has in order to win.  The thing is God is not hiding!! We can seek Him and we will find Him.  Psalm 119:2, "Blessed are they who...seek Him with all their heart" (NIV).  I want to be blessed, don't you?

Matthew 7: 7-12a, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. “Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?  Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you" (NIV).

Saturday is such a weird day in my week. Its different from M-F which is when I do most of my Bible reading on a treadmill at the gym. Saturday comes and I'm focused on all the things I've needed to do all week and get them done all in one day because the children are occupied with Scott & its not a homeschool day.  I'm at the end of my day now and I've prayed, but did not read the Bible today and I can totally tell.   Its like I'm hydrated from the prayer but still hungry for the Word.  hm. I wasn't expecting that. didn't see it coming.  I'll post this tomorrow, which will be Sunday morning but I'm gonna get off of here so I can go seek & find.

Bullet Proof

2 Timothy 2:16-17, "All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work" (NIV).

Ephesians 6:14, "Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place" (NIV).

So... put the parts together concerning the breastplate in the armor of God and you have: All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for... training in righteousness  which is the breastplate (or bullet proof vest) in the armor of God.   Righteousness helps protect our vital spiritual "organs", like the heart.  Where does my righteousness come from? 

Matthew 5:6, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled" (NIV).

Romans 3:22-24, "...righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus" (NIV). 

If righteousness comes through faith in Jesus Christ, then training in righteousness is God growing us up in our salvation which comes through the Word of God.  We've talked about that the last couple of days. I am just so glad that God gives us salvation freely, because I can't imagine ever being perfect enough to earn it on my own.  He Loves us no matter what, and the amount that He Loves us never changes. He Loves ME!! say that out loud! Jesus LOVES ME!!!! :)  no really, out loud! ...do it.  :) no matter where my heart is in position to Him, His is always toward me, He doesn't change in His Love toward us. I'm SOOOO thankful for that! 

Psalm 119:10-11, "I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you" (NIV). 

Since the beginning of March I've felt the desire to study the Word of God grow more and more. In January the thought of reading the Bible at all was like looking at that healthy apple in the fridge and making Rice Krispie treats instead (I talked about that in the last 2 days).  Now with each healthy bite I want more as I also grow in receptiveness.  If I'm understanding these passages correctly God will grow that righteousness, that I already have in the Salvation He freely gave me, through Scripture. Bible study coupled with prayer will spiritually put a full breastplate (bullet proof vest) on me and will protect my heart.

 

Bite by Bite

Hebrews 5:11-14, "We have much to say about this, but it is hard to explain because you are slow to learn. In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil" (NIV).

I'm pretty sure I was this person at the beginning of March. I've been a Christian for 17 years, but have read Scripture & prayed more in the last month than I probably have in the previous 10ish years.  I have a decent foundation of what the Bible says, but I still needed to go back to the elementary truth of the God's Word.  I stopped believing that God Loves me, which is a lie.  I also did not have understanding of God's blessings being sometimes pleasurable & sometimes painful to receive.   Not everything in life is wonderful and I questioned God's Love when the bottom fell out, but He Loves us so much that He wants to carry us through the bad painful times and give us the peace that passes understanding.  The most important thing is that He is fighting for our eternity, which in the grand scheme of things far out weighs momentary earthy pleasure. Sometimes we need "discomfort" to get us to the point that we can do nothing else but call on God.

There have been times in my Christian walk when I've read Scripture and wondered if I got anything out of it at all. Consider this: what did you eat 2 days ago?  Did you get anything out of it?  It sustained you just like what I ate 2 days ago sustained me.  Even if what I eat isn't so delicious that I want to eat it every day for a year, & boy have I had meals like that,  it still was sustaining.  The same is true of Scripture; there are passages that are not ones that I'd necessarily memorize or that God used in my life at the moment, but that doesn't mean they didn't sustain me in my walk with Him. And like the physical meals I've enjoyed whether at home or at travel, that I go back to time and time again; I also do in the spiritual, there are passages of scripture that I refer to over and over again.

I want to be able to distinguish good from evil in an even deeper way, kind of like in 1 Corinthians 12:10.  I think it is for all of us to recognize the lies from the enemy and to reject them in the name of Jesus Christ, even when there is a more specific deeper place for those whom God gives a supernatural gift.

Choosing to eat healthy is not always easy, but does get easier with time even if the choice to go back is always there.   It takes one bite at a time to stay on a healthy diet both physically & spiritually.  Even in healthy eating I'll still have meals that I look forward to or hope to enjoy again & such is true spiritually.  I like what Howard Hendrix has to say about the mark of spiritual maturity in his book "Living by the Book,"The mark of spiritual maturity is not how much you understand, but how much you use.  In the spiritual realm, the opposite of ignorance is not knowledge but obedience."  God will grow me to the person He has created me to be, one bite at a time until I am eating spiritually healthy full course  meals and am trained to distinguish good from evil.

bite by bite carry me daily, Lord.

Cravings

1 Peter 2:1-3, "Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind.  Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good" (NIV).

This passage speaks in terms of food as did yesterday's passage.  If you didn't read "My Sweet Tooth", you might want to read that before reading this, for a point of reference.  As I was saying, I have a tendency to eat compulsively and I most definitely need to rid myself of that & daily give it to God.  In the physical I am giving over my compulsive behavior and giving up several foods that trigger it & in the spiritual God asks us to rid ourselves of malice, deceit, hypocrisy, envy, & slander (go to www.dictionary.com if you need to).  When I give up my unhealthy eating choices I also gain many healthy eating options like delicious fruit among many other things God gave us for sustenance. The more I eat them the more delicious they are.  In the spiritual when I rid myself of those things with the help of the Holy Spirit I also gain the fruits of the spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control (Galatians 5:22-23).  Just as I have tasted that strawberries, blueberries, mangos, etc... are delicious and getting better; I will also continue to taste that the Lord is good!

Amelia is 10 months old now and is my 4th baby, I know all too well how a newborn baby craves milk!  She still gets a bottle now, but when she & each of her siblings was a new baby they would eat every 3 to 4 hours... sometimes 2.  They would each whimper & eventually cry if they got hungry; when milk was finally given each one of them had excitement that was obvious.  A newborn in Christ  will also crave "spiritual milk" so that they can "grow up".  This old Sunday School song comes to mind: "Read your Bible pray everyday and you'll grow, grow grow... Don't read your Bible forget to pray and you'll shrink, shrink, shrink..."  Reach for spiritual milk (ie: the Bible & prayer) & crave the answers in it!  The entire goal behind it all is that we grow!!  "The Bible was written not to satisfy your curiosity but to help you conform to Christ's image" (Howard Hendrix, Living by the Book).   This reminds me so much of what I said in yesterday's post about finally reaching for healthy food and learning how delicious it was and realizing how much better I felt as a result of a healthy diet & exercise. In the spiritual I will rid myself of spiritual junk & "feel better" walking with the Lord and gaining the Fruit of the Spirit with Bible reading & prayer. 

My Sweet Tooth

Psalm 19: 9b-10, "The decrees of the LORD are firm, and all of them are righteous. They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold; they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the honeycomb" (NIV).

The decrees of the LORD is the Word of God or Scripture, the Bible.
I'm liking the food analogy here because for the past couple of months I've been focused on giving our family a more healthy life style. In his book, "Living by the Book", Howard Hendrix gives his own analogy, but since food has been kind of a big deal for me for a little while now I have my own analogy brewing.

It wasn't very long ago that apples or any fruit I bought grocery shopping would go bad in our fridge before anyone would bother eating it. Personally, I'd look right passed them to the box of Rice Krispies and bag of marshmallows! I was really loving my Rice Krispie Treats in those days; at one point I gained 30 lbs in a month from eating so many sheets of them. For some reason I couldn't manage to pick up that apple, but I could polish off a tray of RKT with in 24 hours all by myself. Yes, what I surrendered yesterday was my sugar addiction and my compulsion to binge & overeat. I fasted sugar for lent, but the 2 weeks following it became abundantly clear that I have a problem that I never recognized before. I suppose I'll be surrendering it everyday from here on out. The point is that even if something is delicious and sweet like an apple doesnt mean we're going to reach for that healthy option like reaching for Scripture. I recognize that not everyone is going to look at sugar like its bad, but consider this: sugar can cause diabetes, it tells your body to store fat, its considered a carcinogen, must I go on? Do your own research if you're not buying it. Lets just say for argument's sake though that sugar is really really harmful to the human body and then compare it to what we tend to lean toward to satisfy our "spiritual sweet tooth." Does the phrase "retail therapy" come to mind? or maybe since "its been a hard day we should go out to eat-- or just sit here with a bag of chips and taco dip"--that phrase doesn't mean I'll be choosing something healthy either. What about calling a friend and gossiping about all the wrong that's been done to you? maybe sinking so much into TV shows, etc which basically turns into ignoring everything going on on the inside? There are so many different things people turn to instead of God, its uncanny. Mine have at different periods been any of the things I named sometimes all at once and sometimes one at a time.

Reaching for the apple instead of the brownie mix for the first time wasn't easy. Really, I choose to eat a ton of different kinds of fruit & I'm so ready for cherries to come back in season... and very excited that we're finally in strawberry season!! It did take me a while to get there and still if I think too long about my grandmother's chocolate cake I'll cave, my mouth is seriously watering right now. Strawberries, strawberries, strawberries... ok... Reading the Bible &/or studying the Bible is the same way. The first time was hard... I had to ease my way into it. I read "Get Out of that Pit" by Beth Moore first, its a fantastic book completely focused on God's GREAT LOVE for us. I was ready to read the Bible again after reading her book, especially since Beth Moore infuses all of her books with scripture! It gave me the taste for "healthy spiritual sweetness" again after years of eating "spiritual junk food."

I'm pretty sure I'm still detoxing from all the "spiritual yuck" that truly tasted good at the time, but I'm realizing more and more how so many of my previous choices take me rapidly from God, even if nothing is innately wrong with any of them. Just like desert Easter Sunday took me 3 weeks into poor dietary choices, away from my weight loss goals & started to trap me in previous compulsive eating. So, now I'm eating of God's "spiritual sweetness" of His Word & of the dietary sweetnesses He created for us to enjoy. The more you make healthy choices, spiritually or otherwise (which really its all connected) the sweeter and more delicious it tastes and your taste buds are revived!

I'm so thankful that God wants to carry me daily helping me to make healthy choices in every aspect of life. and for you too! <3. His Word truly is sweeter than honey!