Saturday, December 29, 2012
Friday, December 28, 2012
Today I went to a funeral
Today I went to a funeral. My grandmother's sister passed away on Christmas Eve. We spent every thanksgiving at her house when we were growing up & she brought 2 of her granddaughters to visit us fairly often. The church was completely packed today! Strange thing for a woman in her 80s. She lived in a small town & taught there for over 30 years, everyone knew Mrs. Davis. She was also faithful in church and constantly doing something to help or encourage others. She was fiercely independent.
Her life got me thinking again about my contribution to my church & my town. Being there today was an encouragement to live fully & to be committed-- to have passion to make a difference, to get out there & do something to spread that passion. To live my life for Christ.
Her life got me thinking again about my contribution to my church & my town. Being there today was an encouragement to live fully & to be committed-- to have passion to make a difference, to get out there & do something to spread that passion. To live my life for Christ.
Making a major change
For several months now I've preoccupied my time with a lot of in-necessity. It's become a weight that feels like I'm shackled to the bottom of the ocean. I'm breaking free. Jesus came that we could live set free & for that I am devoted to Him. My use of time is getting a good decluttering & a major rearranging-- I think this is one of my biggest struggles. Parenthood does not give my body the liberty to live the night owl type life I think I thrive on, instead it requires that I live more structured and disciplined. It's something I haven't done in months & the added weight of insomnia has been pushing me over the edge for a few wks now. The Lord has a purpose for all of this and I praise Him. But I'm seeking to make peace with Him in this seemingly simple discipline.
If I told you what my schedule for the last several months has been, you'd be shocked. And as I wrote out a timeline of the perfect wk, I put all of my necessary activities in first and guess what!? There was little to no room left for anything else. Which means 50+% of how I spend my time has GOT to go. There's just no time left. I was stunned when I saw it all on paper! No wonder The Lord has been pushing me to stop these things!! Why have I been so stubborn? We have an enemy seeking to consume our lives & our focus can easily get shifted & the thing we need the least begins to feel like it must be the most important thing in our lives. It feels like giving it up or restructuring our lives would hurt us, even when it's clearly reeking havoc in our lives.
If I told you what my schedule for the last several months has been, you'd be shocked. And as I wrote out a timeline of the perfect wk, I put all of my necessary activities in first and guess what!? There was little to no room left for anything else. Which means 50+% of how I spend my time has GOT to go. There's just no time left. I was stunned when I saw it all on paper! No wonder The Lord has been pushing me to stop these things!! Why have I been so stubborn? We have an enemy seeking to consume our lives & our focus can easily get shifted & the thing we need the least begins to feel like it must be the most important thing in our lives. It feels like giving it up or restructuring our lives would hurt us, even when it's clearly reeking havoc in our lives.
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
happily married
I realized something this week.
Christmas Day 10 years ago, Scott and I had known each other for 7 months. We were engaged & planning our wedding. I love being married to him & I give all my thanks to God for him, because I would have never married him on my own. It was God who pointed out to me that I loved him; I argued with God about that, until I realized it was true. I loved Scott. How? In my brokenness I did not see it, but I loved Him like one person loves another & not romantically at all. He had become my best friend and biggest cheerleader, I admired him more than anyone, and there was no romance. I finally followed Christ into a relationship--there's a first for everything. And it was there that I found the man who far exceeded my wildest dreams.
Of course, we've been married for 9 1/2 years now and when I've given thanks for him I've loved him the more and been happy in our marriage. When I became critical, judging, & unthankful; I also became unhappy. Scott hasn't ever really changed; he's had his own life up and downs but none of that made me feel a certain way about him. How I chose to view him whether critically or complementary made me happy or unhappy-- nothing more.
I've been thinking about this all week, trying to figure out how my happiness in marriage has played out. I'm thankful for my husband and try to focus on the qualities about him & our life together that are my favorite. I'm still learning to give thanks in every circumstance-- when his toothbrush is gross, or his attitude reeks-- they are opportunities for my character to grow and learn how the Lord would have me to react (usually it's to dismiss it or counter & be encouraging). Potential character development is something to be thankful for. Scott gets irritated with me a lot-- I would too, if I lived with me-- but he has 99.9% of the time not criticized me to my face, but rather taken his frustration to God. Taking my marital frustration to God almost always causes me to see my own downfall and take responsibility for "my side of the street". I've learned a lot about how to happily live with someone from Scott. He's awesome like that. :)
Christmas Day 10 years ago, Scott and I had known each other for 7 months. We were engaged & planning our wedding. I love being married to him & I give all my thanks to God for him, because I would have never married him on my own. It was God who pointed out to me that I loved him; I argued with God about that, until I realized it was true. I loved Scott. How? In my brokenness I did not see it, but I loved Him like one person loves another & not romantically at all. He had become my best friend and biggest cheerleader, I admired him more than anyone, and there was no romance. I finally followed Christ into a relationship--there's a first for everything. And it was there that I found the man who far exceeded my wildest dreams.
Of course, we've been married for 9 1/2 years now and when I've given thanks for him I've loved him the more and been happy in our marriage. When I became critical, judging, & unthankful; I also became unhappy. Scott hasn't ever really changed; he's had his own life up and downs but none of that made me feel a certain way about him. How I chose to view him whether critically or complementary made me happy or unhappy-- nothing more.
I've been thinking about this all week, trying to figure out how my happiness in marriage has played out. I'm thankful for my husband and try to focus on the qualities about him & our life together that are my favorite. I'm still learning to give thanks in every circumstance-- when his toothbrush is gross, or his attitude reeks-- they are opportunities for my character to grow and learn how the Lord would have me to react (usually it's to dismiss it or counter & be encouraging). Potential character development is something to be thankful for. Scott gets irritated with me a lot-- I would too, if I lived with me-- but he has 99.9% of the time not criticized me to my face, but rather taken his frustration to God. Taking my marital frustration to God almost always causes me to see my own downfall and take responsibility for "my side of the street". I've learned a lot about how to happily live with someone from Scott. He's awesome like that. :)
giving thanks
Christmas Eve has me thinking about thankfulness. Thinking about my childhood Christmases and what others' were like. Santa, no Santa, presents, or not and either being ungrateful myself or seeing others' ungratefulness. Remembering being happy about gifts, but never quite feeling "good enough" for the toys advertised on Nickelodeon. That's dumb, I know. I don't even remember if I ever actually bothered asking for some of that stuff, like my children do (they got a Disney channel advertised toy this year). But thinking about other people's & my own childhood Christmases I was reminded about the power in giving thanks.
1 Thessalonians 5:8, "in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (NASB).
As an adult I have so much of what I wished for as a child: a man-- a husband who loves me, the "American dream", really great friends, I've "proven" that I'm smarter that I've ever thought or think I am... Sometimes I still feel like I'm not good enough for any good thing in this life & I very often feel stupid-- childhood junk that's still there. But here's the point of all of this: whether I have nothing or everything, when I give thanks in every circumstance I will find contentment and unparalleled joy. If I've learned anything in the last 6 months it how to have this joyful heart-- thanks giving. When I don't give thanks I will always wish my life, my circumstances were vastly different-- even if what I have is over the moon amazing.
Merry Christmas and all my thanks to Him-- Jesus-- who is the greatest gift, who is the Spirit of Christmas, who is the reason for giving, who is to the heart everything that people say Santa is.
Joy to the World, the Lord has come.
1 Thessalonians 5:8, "in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (NASB).
As an adult I have so much of what I wished for as a child: a man-- a husband who loves me, the "American dream", really great friends, I've "proven" that I'm smarter that I've ever thought or think I am... Sometimes I still feel like I'm not good enough for any good thing in this life & I very often feel stupid-- childhood junk that's still there. But here's the point of all of this: whether I have nothing or everything, when I give thanks in every circumstance I will find contentment and unparalleled joy. If I've learned anything in the last 6 months it how to have this joyful heart-- thanks giving. When I don't give thanks I will always wish my life, my circumstances were vastly different-- even if what I have is over the moon amazing.
Merry Christmas and all my thanks to Him-- Jesus-- who is the greatest gift, who is the Spirit of Christmas, who is the reason for giving, who is to the heart everything that people say Santa is.
Joy to the World, the Lord has come.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
a little behind
I got a little behind somehow. There were days of unfaithfulness to daily share this journey or to daily journey. Both. In my desperate need for God I still grew complacent as if I did not need Him at all. We do that-- we humans. We look at ourselves and become happy with what we see in a moment-- pride. Then we slide out of that place as our grip loosens on Christ and grasps onto self-will, self-preservation. There is only preservation in Him, when we grasp onto Him & who we think ourselves to be dies and who we really were created to be thrives.
Recognizing my personal need for pressure to remind me of my incessant need for Him.
Lord of the Rings is on... the ring just melted in the lava river; but not before I was reminded of what Tolkien meant that ring to represent-- temptation. It pressures us, making us think we need the thing we're tempted to have or do. The ring in fact destroys Shmeegle, as he gave in to the ring (temptation). Giving in to it dominates us just as our enemy, the Devil seeks to consume us.
I cannot forget my need for my Savior in the midst of recognizing godly triumph in my life. I need Him to move forward, to walk in triumph-- His triumph, not my own. It is His power, His grace, His mercy... It is only Him, and not an ounce of me.
Recognizing my personal need for pressure to remind me of my incessant need for Him.
Lord of the Rings is on... the ring just melted in the lava river; but not before I was reminded of what Tolkien meant that ring to represent-- temptation. It pressures us, making us think we need the thing we're tempted to have or do. The ring in fact destroys Shmeegle, as he gave in to the ring (temptation). Giving in to it dominates us just as our enemy, the Devil seeks to consume us.
I cannot forget my need for my Savior in the midst of recognizing godly triumph in my life. I need Him to move forward, to walk in triumph-- His triumph, not my own. It is His power, His grace, His mercy... It is only Him, and not an ounce of me.
love this rendition of Carol of the Bells
this is so beautiful!!
still making room
Continuing with the thought from yesterday...
"for there was no room in the Inn." Luke 1.
Once our hearts are turned upside down-- which is really right side up-- for Christ it is our life's mission to turn the world upside down to make room for Him. It starts with the people we know and continues to branch off from exactly that place. The last couple of days I've been thinking of a far off branch that is just barely connected to my life; and how in the world a person even begins to reach that far. But God connects the dots as you reach further and further and your circle of influence grows and grows.
The specific area that's been on my mind is that of human trafficking. A few months ago I read this book-- "Undaunted" by Christine Caine. She shines this big bright light on human-sex trafficking, and my heart bent, and I wondered how in the world I could ever make any kind of difference. Last night, Scott and I watched a movie-- "Taken". It's not one I'd usually watch, because I knew his kid was taken and stuff like that just freaks me out and tends to make me worry about my own children. I didn't get concerned about mine, but I remembered the children I met on the streets of Moldova 10 years ago who were owned by mafia. I've wanted to adopt from there ever since. I don't know how the Lord is going to move in my present & future to make a real difference in this area. The point and idea is to make a difference, to make room for Christ in the world that I live in today. How far can i reach?
Today. I can reach my husband, and children, my church, I can give to organizations like World Vision and Compassion International that help children in impoverished countries. How far can I reach? How far can you?
Making room for Christ; because He lives in me, because I know Him, because I know who He is. He is Savior and He is God.
Happy Birthday, Jesus.
<3
"for there was no room in the Inn." Luke 1.
Once our hearts are turned upside down-- which is really right side up-- for Christ it is our life's mission to turn the world upside down to make room for Him. It starts with the people we know and continues to branch off from exactly that place. The last couple of days I've been thinking of a far off branch that is just barely connected to my life; and how in the world a person even begins to reach that far. But God connects the dots as you reach further and further and your circle of influence grows and grows.
The specific area that's been on my mind is that of human trafficking. A few months ago I read this book-- "Undaunted" by Christine Caine. She shines this big bright light on human-sex trafficking, and my heart bent, and I wondered how in the world I could ever make any kind of difference. Last night, Scott and I watched a movie-- "Taken". It's not one I'd usually watch, because I knew his kid was taken and stuff like that just freaks me out and tends to make me worry about my own children. I didn't get concerned about mine, but I remembered the children I met on the streets of Moldova 10 years ago who were owned by mafia. I've wanted to adopt from there ever since. I don't know how the Lord is going to move in my present & future to make a real difference in this area. The point and idea is to make a difference, to make room for Christ in the world that I live in today. How far can i reach?
Today. I can reach my husband, and children, my church, I can give to organizations like World Vision and Compassion International that help children in impoverished countries. How far can I reach? How far can you?
Making room for Christ; because He lives in me, because I know Him, because I know who He is. He is Savior and He is God.
Happy Birthday, Jesus.
<3
Saturday, December 22, 2012
no room
Luke 2:7, "And she gave birth to her firstborn son; and she wrapped Him in cloths,
and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn" (NASB)
Only a few were paying enough attention to prophesy playing out in the world to realize that God had come to live in flesh. Emanuel. Most didn't notice; so much so that He wasn't born anywhere comfortable but where the animals were kept. There was no room for Him in the inn.
And we must ask ourselves, have I made room for Him? The Lord is very specifically showing me how I haven't; where in my life I'm keeping full of other things. I'm still learning to let Him Love me and making peace with His will. When Jesus was born they would've turned the inn upside down to welcome Him in, if they had realized who He was. Sometimes life might feel like He wants to turn us upside down and ruin it; but when our Creator turns our lives upside down it actually welcomes in LIFE: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, & self-control. What seems like normal living to us could be the exact thing He seeks to change. Every life is different and we each have to seek Him for His daily will and direction. Most of all seek Him simply to know Him and He is steady and never changing... after all, if the Creator of the Universe wants to know you, don't you want to know Him too? Making peace with Him. ...
Peace on Earth.
Only a few were paying enough attention to prophesy playing out in the world to realize that God had come to live in flesh. Emanuel. Most didn't notice; so much so that He wasn't born anywhere comfortable but where the animals were kept. There was no room for Him in the inn.
And we must ask ourselves, have I made room for Him? The Lord is very specifically showing me how I haven't; where in my life I'm keeping full of other things. I'm still learning to let Him Love me and making peace with His will. When Jesus was born they would've turned the inn upside down to welcome Him in, if they had realized who He was. Sometimes life might feel like He wants to turn us upside down and ruin it; but when our Creator turns our lives upside down it actually welcomes in LIFE: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, & self-control. What seems like normal living to us could be the exact thing He seeks to change. Every life is different and we each have to seek Him for His daily will and direction. Most of all seek Him simply to know Him and He is steady and never changing... after all, if the Creator of the Universe wants to know you, don't you want to know Him too? Making peace with Him. ...
Peace on Earth.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
His Love
I don't know about you, but it's easy for me to forget that God Loves me. It's because I start focusing on questioning why He loves me and it's all down hill from there. Why would He? Disobedience, ungodly use of His gift of time, ingratitude, self-centeredness...
And I re-read:
“Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails...” (1 Corinthians 13--NASB).
It is how God Loves us. His Love for me. His Love for you, for this whole broken world does not hinge on our goodness, or gratitude, or any such thing; rather His Love for us binds because we exist.
And I re-read:
“Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails...” (1 Corinthians 13--NASB).
It is how God Loves us. His Love for me. His Love for you, for this whole broken world does not hinge on our goodness, or gratitude, or any such thing; rather His Love for us binds because we exist.
Mary's Song
And Mary said,
"I’m bursting with God-news;
I’m dancing the song of my Savior God. God took one good look at me, and look what happened— I’m the most fortunate woman on earth!
What God has done for me will never be forgotten, the God whose very name is holy, set apart from all others. His mercy flows in wave after wave
on those who are in awe before him. He bared his arm and showed his strength,
"I’m bursting with God-news;
I’m dancing the song of my Savior God. God took one good look at me, and look what happened— I’m the most fortunate woman on earth!
What God has done for me will never be forgotten, the God whose very name is holy, set apart from all others. His mercy flows in wave after wave
on those who are in awe before him. He bared his arm and showed his strength,
scattered the bluffing braggarts. He knocked tyrants off their high
horses, pulled victims out of the mud. The starving poor sat down to a
banquet; the callous rich were left out in the cold.
He embraced his chosen child, Israel; he remembered and piled on the mercies, piled them high. It’s exactly what he promised, beginning with Abraham and right up to now." Luke 1:46-55
He embraced his chosen child, Israel; he remembered and piled on the mercies, piled them high. It’s exactly what he promised, beginning with Abraham and right up to now." Luke 1:46-55
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Thursday, December 13, 2012
friendship building
In Tuesday's post I said, "To have a daily, private, uninterupted prayer time--- time totally
alone with Him-- talking out loud to Him, and listening to Him speak to
our hearts." But I missed something.
Posture in prayer. Jesus taught us that the posture of our hearts is the most important thing, no matter what prayerful posture we take. People can easily look one way but their hearts couldn't be further from Him. Through out scripture people prayed in all sorts of postures, each one reflecting their hearts.
standing when requesting provision (Gen 24:12-14)
kneeling with face to the ground worshiping (Ex34:8)
sitting and crying (Judges 20:26)
on knees giving thanks & praying (Daniel 6:10)
beating one's chest recognizing one's own need for mercy (Luke 18:13)
begging on knees (Mark 1:40)
with lifted hands in prayer (1Tim 2:8)
(Reference list came from John MacArthur Jr.)
As I read these verses for myself learning the attitude behind each posture I recognized even more the posture of apathy. But when I humble myself to bow & come before the Creator, the apathy dissipates and I'm left in awe of God. Sometimes it starts with picking a posture besides that of apathy and getting with God.
Obviously, the physical can be in any position as we pray with out ceasing; but what a wonderful thing it is to pause daily in that private, uninterupted, prayerfully postured, conversational prayer time. We spend this kind of time with people we love... I love private, uninterupted time with my best friends, & when I'm interested in what they're saying my posture shows it, and as much as I love to talk I want to hear what my best friends thing about stuff. As I grow to Love God more and more, these things will spring to life in this type of prayer time with Him. Prayer truly has everything to do with the attitude of my heart... see when I'm not friends with someone all of those same attributes are no more. Prayer is all about building a friendship with God.
Posture in prayer. Jesus taught us that the posture of our hearts is the most important thing, no matter what prayerful posture we take. People can easily look one way but their hearts couldn't be further from Him. Through out scripture people prayed in all sorts of postures, each one reflecting their hearts.
standing when requesting provision (Gen 24:12-14)
kneeling with face to the ground worshiping (Ex34:8)
sitting and crying (Judges 20:26)
on knees giving thanks & praying (Daniel 6:10)
beating one's chest recognizing one's own need for mercy (Luke 18:13)
begging on knees (Mark 1:40)
with lifted hands in prayer (1Tim 2:8)
(Reference list came from John MacArthur Jr.)
As I read these verses for myself learning the attitude behind each posture I recognized even more the posture of apathy. But when I humble myself to bow & come before the Creator, the apathy dissipates and I'm left in awe of God. Sometimes it starts with picking a posture besides that of apathy and getting with God.
Obviously, the physical can be in any position as we pray with out ceasing; but what a wonderful thing it is to pause daily in that private, uninterupted, prayerfully postured, conversational prayer time. We spend this kind of time with people we love... I love private, uninterupted time with my best friends, & when I'm interested in what they're saying my posture shows it, and as much as I love to talk I want to hear what my best friends thing about stuff. As I grow to Love God more and more, these things will spring to life in this type of prayer time with Him. Prayer truly has everything to do with the attitude of my heart... see when I'm not friends with someone all of those same attributes are no more. Prayer is all about building a friendship with God.
links on Advent
Her blog posts this month have changed my viewpoint
on Christmas. I love these and feel a lot more excitement about the Christmas season this year than ever before. My children are even more excited about giving through the month... time to get some of these things into practice!
Click on the link to check out some profound thinking on advent.
www.aholyexperience.com
I loved the ideas this blogger gives:
light em up 12
Here's a link to Christmas coloring pages :):
nativity coloring
on Christmas. I love these and feel a lot more excitement about the Christmas season this year than ever before. My children are even more excited about giving through the month... time to get some of these things into practice!
Click on the link to check out some profound thinking on advent.
www.aholyexperience.com
I loved the ideas this blogger gives:
light em up 12
Here's a link to Christmas coloring pages :):
nativity coloring
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
combatting spiritual anorexia
When the Lord shows us something it is important to dig deeper, ask questions, learn more from HIM. I have this tendency to ignore a problem until it goes away, in any given area of life. I'll ignore my health, comfort, emotional issues, spiritual issues-- anything. It's something the Lord is pointing out in me. Most of the time when HE is pointing out things like my pride issue last week, there is much I'll miss simply because I didn't dig deeper.
He has been whispering to my heart about digging deeper, changing my personal prayer life, & personal Bible Study. I've done nothing to change-- not really. I believe it's something that He is asking of all of His followers; to dig deeper into Him. To have a daily, private, uninterupted prayer time--- time totally alone with Him-- talking out loud to Him, and listening to Him speak to our hearts. Each of these details may seem like total common sense to you, or like me they may not seem so important that they'd make any difference. In the past few months I've found that each of these details makes an exponential difference. Private Bible study also makes the same difference in our lives. We need both private prayer & Bible study. Jesus Himself confirmed Moses' words, "Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word from the mouth of God." Without this kind of private prayer time and Bible study we are spiritually starving ourselves. Spiritually anorexic. As much as I like physical food this should be a bigger deal to me than it has been... We kill ourselves when we don't eat physical food, and our bodies implode. Physical anorexia attacks the bones first, but the most life threatening attack is on the heart. The fact is that it's a mult-system disease & it shuts down the body-- it starts taking effect before a person ever looks thin. (physical anorexic info came from webmd.com) Spiritual anorexia effects us in a similar way in our spiritual bodies, it starts taking effect long before anyone else would notice. This is why it's the very first thing the enemy wants to get at in our lives!! It's why Paul pleads with us to put on the full armor of God.
Ephesians 6:10-18
" Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people."
He has been whispering to my heart about digging deeper, changing my personal prayer life, & personal Bible Study. I've done nothing to change-- not really. I believe it's something that He is asking of all of His followers; to dig deeper into Him. To have a daily, private, uninterupted prayer time--- time totally alone with Him-- talking out loud to Him, and listening to Him speak to our hearts. Each of these details may seem like total common sense to you, or like me they may not seem so important that they'd make any difference. In the past few months I've found that each of these details makes an exponential difference. Private Bible study also makes the same difference in our lives. We need both private prayer & Bible study. Jesus Himself confirmed Moses' words, "Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word from the mouth of God." Without this kind of private prayer time and Bible study we are spiritually starving ourselves. Spiritually anorexic. As much as I like physical food this should be a bigger deal to me than it has been... We kill ourselves when we don't eat physical food, and our bodies implode. Physical anorexia attacks the bones first, but the most life threatening attack is on the heart. The fact is that it's a mult-system disease & it shuts down the body-- it starts taking effect before a person ever looks thin. (physical anorexic info came from webmd.com) Spiritual anorexia effects us in a similar way in our spiritual bodies, it starts taking effect long before anyone else would notice. This is why it's the very first thing the enemy wants to get at in our lives!! It's why Paul pleads with us to put on the full armor of God.
Ephesians 6:10-18
" Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people."
Monday, December 10, 2012
group Bible Study coming soon...
Hitting the "restart" button on group Bible Study & we're meeting exactly one month from today for our first group.
The month of January we'll be studying the Fruit of the Spirit: Love- each of it's facets & how to recognize specific struggles as love's opposites being pruned from our hearts so that Love can grow. Everyone is invited to join us! If you are in the Danville area and would like to attend please just let me know!
The original language of the New Testiment is Greek and there are 3 different words that translate into English. The word for Love as a Fruit of the Spirit is Agape; it is Godly Love. Agape is how God Loves us; He literally desires to do good to us, in the midst of this human life of chaos. The very fact that God loves us like this astounds me! He desires to do good to me-- He wants to!! Godly good, not human good-- the two things are different. We can trust difficult seasons to the Lord because, even though life is full of painful experiences, He only desires to do good to us.
Could I ask you a favor? Please pray for me while I prepare for this? I'm so excited, and so nervous, etc... Please pray that the Lord will give me the exact words to say and that everyone coming-- all of us-- hear from God and that we're moved to grow in Him. <3
The month of January we'll be studying the Fruit of the Spirit: Love- each of it's facets & how to recognize specific struggles as love's opposites being pruned from our hearts so that Love can grow. Everyone is invited to join us! If you are in the Danville area and would like to attend please just let me know!
The original language of the New Testiment is Greek and there are 3 different words that translate into English. The word for Love as a Fruit of the Spirit is Agape; it is Godly Love. Agape is how God Loves us; He literally desires to do good to us, in the midst of this human life of chaos. The very fact that God loves us like this astounds me! He desires to do good to me-- He wants to!! Godly good, not human good-- the two things are different. We can trust difficult seasons to the Lord because, even though life is full of painful experiences, He only desires to do good to us.
Could I ask you a favor? Please pray for me while I prepare for this? I'm so excited, and so nervous, etc... Please pray that the Lord will give me the exact words to say and that everyone coming-- all of us-- hear from God and that we're moved to grow in Him. <3
parenting.
Parenting. My favorite part is cuddling with my babies. I call it "lovings". I get Madelyn lovings, Isabelle lovings, Nathan lovings, and Amelia lovings. I think so far Amelia is the most affectionate; she'll come to me randomly just to snuggle... though Isabelle did too when she was two. It's like pulling teeth to get Isabelle to give lovings to me now. It's like I have to catch her, but now and then she'll cave and let me hug and hug her and kiss her sweet little cheeks. A few days ago I was holding her and told her that I needed her lovings, and hugged and hugged and hugged her. She giggled and said, "man! you really needed some Isabelle lovings!" hehe. Now Nathan is my sweet boy and he really is super affectionate, he melts my heart to a liquidy mess. And Madelyn. She needs the lovings, but it's so unlike her to give more than just the occasional hug. The only time she gets very cozy cuddly is when she's: (a) sick, or (b) has been enthrawled with company for a couple of days and hasn't been interested in spending time with me, and in the days after they leave she needs a ton of extra love to catch up. When Madelyn was a toddler, though it was sad to see her sick, I loved getting to hold her! sad. but true.
It seems as though giving our affections to God happens mostly when we're hurting and need Him to fix something going wrong in our lives; but He like any parent longs for a lovings when everything is wonderful. I want my children to come to me when they're hurting & when they're happy. I love being with them. Of course, God is perfect and loves us even more than any human parent could ever imagine attaining to. His love is pure and unselfish. He wants the absolute best for us, even if it's going to hurt us to give us wonderful overflowing blessing. He sacrificed every convenience for us. His love is unmatched. I want to - want to give Him all of my affections all the time. Lord please fill me with Your Love and Joy, over and over, that I can give it back to You and out to others as Your hands and feet.
<3
It seems as though giving our affections to God happens mostly when we're hurting and need Him to fix something going wrong in our lives; but He like any parent longs for a lovings when everything is wonderful. I want my children to come to me when they're hurting & when they're happy. I love being with them. Of course, God is perfect and loves us even more than any human parent could ever imagine attaining to. His love is pure and unselfish. He wants the absolute best for us, even if it's going to hurt us to give us wonderful overflowing blessing. He sacrificed every convenience for us. His love is unmatched. I want to - want to give Him all of my affections all the time. Lord please fill me with Your Love and Joy, over and over, that I can give it back to You and out to others as Your hands and feet.
<3
Sunday, December 9, 2012
freedom
Saturday, December 8, 2012
a little music to go along with the last 3 days!
Friday, December 7, 2012
fake me..
In salvation, God sets us free from an eternity with out Him. And in this life there after, He seeks to redeem us, to free us from the carnal. Right now for me... He is working to set me free of this fear of rejection, from pride, from perfectionism... from "image management" (a term my Christ-sister coined just this wk). I've recognized a whole list of things in my heart that all boil down to pride. It makes me sad.
My prayer since I was a very young Christian has been that my life would be a reflection of Christ. It feels like I'm failing miserably. But for my life to reflect Christ, it must not be about me at all!!
When it comes right down to it, the One I'm most concerned with pleasing is God and the best way to do that is to constantly run to Him. To be obedient and run to Him; and when I fail (because I do) to run to Him again.
Managing my image with people will eventually create a fake me. Perfectionism will only keep me worried what others think of me, constantly frantic, also creating a fake me. Pride finds self worth in others' missteps, failures, struggle... Pride is competitive, the other person could be doing great, but if I'm even 1 step ahead Pride says I'm better. Pride begs me to create a fake self. Fear of rejection is the driving force to be fake completely; it nags at us and smothers who we really are... Fear of rejection is the bully that pulverizes us until all we can show for it is an image of someone else. Well, through Christ, I've got to break free from all of this fake me stuff. Truly, I didn't even recognize the fake at all. What you see is what you get; but I'll hide something to maintain the management of it all in a red hot second. It's been painful to recognize all of this and give it over to God, but the outcome each day is closeness with Christ and there is peace there, where I can be fully me. And here as you read and I am laid out, completely vulnerable, a huge chunk of all of this insecurity (it's what it all groups into) comes to the surface of my heart to be given over to the Lord. Thank you for reading, it's truly helped to turn all of this pain over to Him where I've grown in peace with the Lord like never before. <3
My prayer since I was a very young Christian has been that my life would be a reflection of Christ. It feels like I'm failing miserably. But for my life to reflect Christ, it must not be about me at all!!
When it comes right down to it, the One I'm most concerned with pleasing is God and the best way to do that is to constantly run to Him. To be obedient and run to Him; and when I fail (because I do) to run to Him again.
Managing my image with people will eventually create a fake me. Perfectionism will only keep me worried what others think of me, constantly frantic, also creating a fake me. Pride finds self worth in others' missteps, failures, struggle... Pride is competitive, the other person could be doing great, but if I'm even 1 step ahead Pride says I'm better. Pride begs me to create a fake self. Fear of rejection is the driving force to be fake completely; it nags at us and smothers who we really are... Fear of rejection is the bully that pulverizes us until all we can show for it is an image of someone else. Well, through Christ, I've got to break free from all of this fake me stuff. Truly, I didn't even recognize the fake at all. What you see is what you get; but I'll hide something to maintain the management of it all in a red hot second. It's been painful to recognize all of this and give it over to God, but the outcome each day is closeness with Christ and there is peace there, where I can be fully me. And here as you read and I am laid out, completely vulnerable, a huge chunk of all of this insecurity (it's what it all groups into) comes to the surface of my heart to be given over to the Lord. Thank you for reading, it's truly helped to turn all of this pain over to Him where I've grown in peace with the Lord like never before. <3
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
we're going on a bear hunt
I've got to say. It is hard to share my failures... to put them all out in the world, like I did yesterday. Most often I don't feel frustrated by others' "junk"... there are plenty of reasons I did in this instance which are unusual... but there is no real, good excuse. Frustration builds and leads to pride. There's no way around it & not one person can escape it!! Every one of us has had to deal with pride. Ev.er.y.one. Sharing it; however, pulls hard at my fears of rejection. Like all these people reading this, whoever they are, are never gonna look at me the same. See it's not unusual for people to talk to me about hard life stuff, because I have this premise of everyone has hard life stuff, and I expect people to have it, and so I don't think differently of people after they've confided in me. That hasn't changed. But sharing my stuff on here, this frustration that brushes against this normal way I have about not thinking differently of people after they confide in me is hard. It is frustrating to see the potential in someone and watch them struggle through the growth, just as I have been in many areas of my own life for a couple months now. It's frustrating to watch, but none of us can escape the struggle of growth either... if you think you have come through and the growth doesn't feel like a strangling anymore, then you may have some pride building. If it's hard & painful to watch someone else grow or even rebel and choose not to grow & frustration is building-- check your heart for pride.
Of course, some of the intense pain of the growth (or rebellion) has much to do with making peace with God and His will in growing us into the beauty that He created us to have. When we make that peace, growth will feel less like a strangling and more like, i don't know, an abrasive exfoliation. It still hurts, but once we make peace with God in His growing us it feels less like it's going to kill us and we can see the life He's giving us instead. It's important to ask God to show us our pride, because it will be the first thing to take us down. Please keep me humble, Lord.
Remember the book/ song, "We're Going on a Bear Hunt" from elementary years?? Our son Nathan loves it!! In the story "we" come to several obstacles and the line says "we can't go over it, we can't go under it, we've got to go through it". The tramp through the forest, swim through a river, slosh through mud, and several other places to get to the bear & then again to turn and run home. It's a lesson in life: The only way through it, is through it. I'm definitely wanting to get through this up rooting of insecurities: fear of rejection, pride, & perfectionism--- gonna get through it. The journey through it has everything to do with sinking deeper into the grace & love of God.
Of course, some of the intense pain of the growth (or rebellion) has much to do with making peace with God and His will in growing us into the beauty that He created us to have. When we make that peace, growth will feel less like a strangling and more like, i don't know, an abrasive exfoliation. It still hurts, but once we make peace with God in His growing us it feels less like it's going to kill us and we can see the life He's giving us instead. It's important to ask God to show us our pride, because it will be the first thing to take us down. Please keep me humble, Lord.
Remember the book/ song, "We're Going on a Bear Hunt" from elementary years?? Our son Nathan loves it!! In the story "we" come to several obstacles and the line says "we can't go over it, we can't go under it, we've got to go through it". The tramp through the forest, swim through a river, slosh through mud, and several other places to get to the bear & then again to turn and run home. It's a lesson in life: The only way through it, is through it. I'm definitely wanting to get through this up rooting of insecurities: fear of rejection, pride, & perfectionism--- gonna get through it. The journey through it has everything to do with sinking deeper into the grace & love of God.
crashed
Pride is a sneaky thing. It enters in like the wedding crasher, seemly invited and well loved by the bride and groom. Everyone thinks He belongs as long as he doesn't get caught by the newlyweds. Pride got caught today.
Here's a new-to-me way to recognize it: when someone, anyone is frustrating you, getting on your nerves in anyway it causes us to recognize ourselves as better than the object of our frustration. And of course my reaction to this being said a week ago would've been, "oh! no! I don't think I'm better than anyone!" But the truth is they frustrate us because they're not like we are... or even if they are like us and we don't see it.
One of my best friends and I had a small argument a few days ago, which was the result of a breaking point of frustration with her. The Lord showed me that the reason for my frustration was because much of it is the same frustration I have with myself, or a pet-peeve wrought in me through childhood rejection (a root of insecurity). Tonight we took the time to work through all of this stuff & I had the opportunity to remember why I'm friends with her in the first place. And, God bless her, she was obedient to the Holy Spirit and called me out on my pride... which I don't think she knew much of it involved her (until now) or how I was being prideful. I'm so blessed to have a friend like her, for so many reasons.
It's so sad really. This nasty little thing of pride roots deep in our lives seeking to strangle out relationship and burying us in the enormity of the insecurity that it truly is. So this root of pride coupled with this root of rejection in my life builds up to a massive root system of insecurity in my heart. The cure is security in Christ!! I talked about this a lot over the summer months.
I totally didn't realize I was being taken down. But that's why the Word warns us to be alert in our lives because the devil seeks to consume us.
Here's the fact of the matter... I say it all the time and am still reminding myself of it on a regular basis... still learning: Everyone has struggles. I have struggles that pull at me to hate myself. You have struggles. We all have struggles. The only thing good in anyone is God. So let's give one another a break; I know I sure need one right now.... being how embarrassed I am that I fell into this trap!! Everyone has junk and there is no one who is excluded; it's why/ how we need Christ!
Here's a new-to-me way to recognize it: when someone, anyone is frustrating you, getting on your nerves in anyway it causes us to recognize ourselves as better than the object of our frustration. And of course my reaction to this being said a week ago would've been, "oh! no! I don't think I'm better than anyone!" But the truth is they frustrate us because they're not like we are... or even if they are like us and we don't see it.
One of my best friends and I had a small argument a few days ago, which was the result of a breaking point of frustration with her. The Lord showed me that the reason for my frustration was because much of it is the same frustration I have with myself, or a pet-peeve wrought in me through childhood rejection (a root of insecurity). Tonight we took the time to work through all of this stuff & I had the opportunity to remember why I'm friends with her in the first place. And, God bless her, she was obedient to the Holy Spirit and called me out on my pride... which I don't think she knew much of it involved her (until now) or how I was being prideful. I'm so blessed to have a friend like her, for so many reasons.
It's so sad really. This nasty little thing of pride roots deep in our lives seeking to strangle out relationship and burying us in the enormity of the insecurity that it truly is. So this root of pride coupled with this root of rejection in my life builds up to a massive root system of insecurity in my heart. The cure is security in Christ!! I talked about this a lot over the summer months.
I totally didn't realize I was being taken down. But that's why the Word warns us to be alert in our lives because the devil seeks to consume us.
Here's the fact of the matter... I say it all the time and am still reminding myself of it on a regular basis... still learning: Everyone has struggles. I have struggles that pull at me to hate myself. You have struggles. We all have struggles. The only thing good in anyone is God. So let's give one another a break; I know I sure need one right now.... being how embarrassed I am that I fell into this trap!! Everyone has junk and there is no one who is excluded; it's why/ how we need Christ!
Monday, December 3, 2012
I just don't feel like it.
It seems like my keys, or my phone, or both are constantly missing. It's typically for one of 2 reasons: I put them somewhere I typically don't -or- One of the 4 little people that live in my house put them somewhere I typically don't (ie. they ran off with them and didn't tell me). Today it was in my pocket... it was in my pocket.... I searched for 2 hours. It's a smart phone and has 1/2 my life in it; I'm sure most of you can relate. My brain is either in a planner or in my phone, but it's definetly not in my head... and without them I don't know what I'm supposed to do today (any day that is "today"). I started to feel a little panicked when I realized that none of the little people had it this morning. It meant that I must've done something with it, but I didn't remember doing anything with it. It meant that it fell out of my pocket and none of the places I'd sat down before realizing it was lost with held my "brain". agh! I stopped looking for it and went about some of my "to do" list. Prayed a little and God started teaching me a lesson.
God's Word shines the light on our lives that we need to know the truth, so that we can know Him, so we can see for direction, so that we can be alert & aware of the enemy's attacks... Similar to my smart phone, but in a far more powerful way the Bible has my "brain" in it, as I don't know what I'm supposed to do today or any day with out it. Life gets dark and lies start seeping in, I get stuck in old habits, & I put myself under spiritual attack when I'm not intentionally feeding myself the Word of God (the Bible).
The answer to the underlying question here is to have devotional time of reading/ memorizing scripture and praying daily whether we feel like it or not. Consistency. It's the road to growth or death... in what ways will I choose to be consistent? I consistently feel like doing all kinds of things besides find my life in Christ, it is human nature; this is why I must choose consistency toward HIM even when I don't feel like it.
"Thy word is a lamp unto my feet,
and a light unto my path" (Psalm 119:105, KJV).
The answer to the underlying question here is to have devotional time of reading/ memorizing scripture and praying daily whether we feel like it or not. Consistency. It's the road to growth or death... in what ways will I choose to be consistent? I consistently feel like doing all kinds of things besides find my life in Christ, it is human nature; this is why I must choose consistency toward HIM even when I don't feel like it.
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Yes it should be.
Private, uninterrupted, designated Prayer time.
Shouldn't it be more?
Shouldn't it be the favorite part of my day?
Shouldn't it be the 1 thing I enjoy more thank anything else?
Shouldn't I look forward to it more than anything else in my life?
Shouldn't I dread it's end?
Shouldn't I choose Him before all else?
Shouldn't it be scheduled in to my day first, before all the rest of my endless list of responsibility?
Time to spend on my knees before the Creator of the Universe, that turns into endless conversation with Him throughout the day.
I want more of God, for my life's focus to be that of God.
And to answer all those questions up there. Yes. to all of them.
And the fact of the matter is that when we're not with Him, our souls ache to be.
Shouldn't it be more?
Shouldn't it be the favorite part of my day?
Shouldn't it be the 1 thing I enjoy more thank anything else?
Shouldn't I look forward to it more than anything else in my life?
Shouldn't I dread it's end?
Shouldn't I choose Him before all else?
Shouldn't it be scheduled in to my day first, before all the rest of my endless list of responsibility?
Time to spend on my knees before the Creator of the Universe, that turns into endless conversation with Him throughout the day.
I want more of God, for my life's focus to be that of God.
And to answer all those questions up there. Yes. to all of them.
And the fact of the matter is that when we're not with Him, our souls ache to be.
The Start to Advent
Saturday, December 1, 2012
simply
It's always "fun" when hard truth comes to your attention... it's much like having a cinder block lodged at your head. Fun... in a not so much fun kinda way. It's the kind of "fun" that makes you want to cry for hours. I say fun as sarcastically as possible; hard truth is painful.
During some extremely frustrated laments of prayer to God today He pointed out some not so pretty truths in my life. This journey of knowing God more has indeed led me to know Him more, but my intention much of the time has been more "me focused" in that I've been getting closer to Him with the intention of getting clearer direction as soon as possible. It's His direction I've wanted, of course, but what He wants more than anything is for me to want Him more than His direction. To want Him more than what it is He can do for me, how He can better my life. He's already bettered my life by sending His Son, Jesus, for the sins of the world. What more could I ask for?
If I was constantly talking to my husband just to see what I could get out of him, to see what he could do for me; we wouldn't have much of a real relationship. It would be 1 person giving and the other taking constantly. No relationship can survive long term like this, there has to be change and growth, there has to be giving & receiving from both parties... it's what makes the best relationships tick, including relationship with God.
Repenting. Making Him my priority instead of His agenda for me. Simply to know Him, is everything.
During some extremely frustrated laments of prayer to God today He pointed out some not so pretty truths in my life. This journey of knowing God more has indeed led me to know Him more, but my intention much of the time has been more "me focused" in that I've been getting closer to Him with the intention of getting clearer direction as soon as possible. It's His direction I've wanted, of course, but what He wants more than anything is for me to want Him more than His direction. To want Him more than what it is He can do for me, how He can better my life. He's already bettered my life by sending His Son, Jesus, for the sins of the world. What more could I ask for?
If I was constantly talking to my husband just to see what I could get out of him, to see what he could do for me; we wouldn't have much of a real relationship. It would be 1 person giving and the other taking constantly. No relationship can survive long term like this, there has to be change and growth, there has to be giving & receiving from both parties... it's what makes the best relationships tick, including relationship with God.
Repenting. Making Him my priority instead of His agenda for me. Simply to know Him, is everything.
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