living He loved me...

living He loved me
dying He saved me
buried He carried my sins far away
rising He justified freely forever
One day He's coming.
Oh, Glorious Day
-- Casting Crowns 

i am desperate.

There is a desperation that is ever lingering in each of us.  We are desperate.  Like fish out of water we flip and flap, gasping to breathe-- we are desperate for God.  For some reason we don't recognize that God is who satisfies and we live like a fish swimming around in a bowl of clorox. Eventually we'll die.  We can't go on sucking in any little thing that brings the most remote feeling of satisfaction, but that's what we do.  That's what we do until we turn.  We must turn in order to survive-- turn to God, who is standing with each of us with arms wide open, waiting to be invited in. He wants nothing more than to be with us, to be of service to us so that we can make it through this life, living.  (I say in service because that's what "kind" in the verse 'Love is patient and kind...' means.  The Greek translation means "kind, in full service to others"-- and God is Love.)  In kindness, He helps us to redemption, He helps us to pray, He helps us through this life, He helps us to learn to live holy lives. When we receive Him in to our lives each day, He will be there walking with us and us with Him.  When we withhold ourselves from Him, He is still there but we are not receiving His blessings. He wants to bless us with His comfort and joy, with His fruit, with His peace that passes understanding, with so so much.  This is how to be satisfied, ask God to come into your life, to forgive you of your sins, & in essence give your life to Him. Salvation. This is the start to relationship & now nearly 18 years later  I ask forgiveness when I mess up & I mess up plenty; I ask for His help & which way to go, I give each day to Him anew... a lot goes into having any relationship & the one I have with God is no different.  Jesus made the way.

I've noticed in my prayer life that I am not the tree planted by flowing water.  That is the person who has a reservoir built up, who moves through times of difficulty with grace & "God-confidence", she stays in God's Word and in prayer not because she suddenly had nowhere else to go but because God is her everything. A year ago I was a tree living in the desert and desperate; I'm much much closer to being planted by that stream... but alas the truth is that I'm only nearby.  I believe that getting to the place where I'm planted there also means that I'll stop looking for satisfaction in other things because I'm so satisfied and nourished by my Creator.  Even the tree planted by the stream is desperate for water, it needs it to survive after all.  I can be in the desert desperate and dying or I can be next to the source desperate, fully nourished & fully alive.

what kindness does

This is what kindness does-- it freely forgives.

Ephesians 4:32, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (NIV).

In love

There's something to be said about attentive, Spirit led prayer. It's freeing in this unexplainable kind of way. Driving home from a visit with family, my entire family fell asleep in the car and so I started praying. I kinda wish I had to drive further than 5 minutes away everyday.
Learning from The Lord & falling more in Love win Him.

I need a miracle

third Day "I Need a Miracle"
This song is on my mind tonight for some reason.
finding the place where we recognize our desperation for God is the beginning of the miracle!!

finding peace.

A lot of the last 10+ years I've been a huge train wreck of a person. It may not look like that on the outside, but inside...   Without God I am miserable, long term time away from Him makes me suicidal... but with Him... With HIM, I'm more than just a beautiful mess.  That's why I love this song, it explains it all.  God is everything and when I embrace Him, I find peace, and that's how I can honestly sing this song.

Perseverance.

Persevere.  It's what Love does.  It's what patience does too.  It's one thing of countless others that God does to win us, He perseveres. He never stops working to win our hearts. Never.

Perseverance is how Love & Patience act; so when God is growing the fruit of the Spirit in our lives He  will be teaching us to persevere.  Jesus persevered through living in a human shell, restraining Himself from temptation, meeting death on a cross, & rising from the dead all to redeem us.  A shepherd boy named David believed God when he was anointed to be the next king.  He persevered in relationship with God Himself in order to make it through being hunted by the king who preceded him.  God called King David a man after God's own heart.

Perseverance is something that the Lord is teaching me now. It's never been something I've been good at; it's much easier to quit. It's easy to sabotage myself. It's easy to see that something might be too hard or that the chances of failing are greater than that of success & choose to quit before ever starting. God is asking us to passionately persevere after Him, to press in.  Learning to walk with Him in such a way that His desires become my desires, that He becomes my comforter and provider, that He becomes more important than anyone or anything else in my life is worth the perseverance.  It's easier for me to make "me" the most important thing in my life and the more that is true the more selfish my desires will become.   Persevering  in my relationship with HIM has a lot to do with restraining myself from the things that beg my attention from Him (we all have our personal lists)... restraining ourselves from the things that come out first instead of God.

voice of truth

"the voice of truth" by casting crowns

Practicality & Pity Parties

I'm not exactly the best as embracing change, in fact I always have an urge to fight it.  If the change is a healthier or better way of living I'll have a pity party for a few days before completely embracing it. It's sad but true.  The Lord has steadily been encouraging me to make the step & stop focusing on what I'd be losing.  

I've almost always had trouble falling asleep, but through December it just grew increasingly worse until I was awake until 5am tossing and turning. The Lord is leading me to change my schedule a great deal and the only way to make it all happen is to be asleep by a certain time, far before 5am.  So, I just prayed and prayed and asked HIM how in the world it could be possible to fall asleep so quickly.  His response was that I needed to stop eating sugar again, to which I responded like any 2 year old would.  I ate plenty of sugar over the next few days, kinda hoping that I "heard" HIM wrong.  He told me that the sugar in my system was contributing to the insomnia.  What?!!  NOOOOO!!!! I don't really want to give up all the sweet treats I love so much, that I've finally gotten a hold on to only have them in complete moderation.  boooo.  So I focused on all the yummy things I can't eat/ drink anymore. It's still hard not to focus on them.  Today was day 1 without refined sugar.  The Lord encouraged me last night to focus on the blessing He is trying to give me... sleep!! a thinner body!! a healthy body!! a decrease in cancer & diabetes risk!! ALL good things. Stop focusing on what you're losing and start focusing on the blessing.  So I woke up this morning and began.  This evening I went to the store and bought a bunch of fruit and cut it all up in order to have easy access to it when I want to munch on something sweet. 

The Lord is good and wants to do good things to us, He Loves us beyond what our imaginations can fathom. 

So after fighting God that the sugar was contributing to my insomnia for a few days, I told a friend about it and she was quick to give me a link confirming this truth. Here is a link to the article: "Can a Proper Diet Help With Insomnia"  If you read the article you'll also see that there is more to it than just sugar, but the thing in this article that was glaring in my personal diet is sugar-- it might be something else for you, if you also struggle with insomnia. 

I love the Lord-- it is so cool that He leads in physical practicality as well as spiritual practicality. <3

He wants nothing more.

What God wants most from us is to simply be with Him, in relationship.  A real 2 person communicative, loving relationship.  When this is the truth... and it is always the truth for every single person... why do we choose other things?  

Failing-- whatever that looks like for the individual-- is like this abyss that keeps pulling us down to wallow in it as long as it can keep us.  But get up and fail forward, that is fail straight into the grace of God.  I'm not saying to fail on purpose which would clearly be sin on top of sin. I am saying that when we fail we should not sink down into it and stay there, but rather ask God for forgiveness and get up and walk with Him in His grace.  Stop staying down, there is no relationship there and the abyss is bottomless and will pull us straight to death if we let it.  Embracing my desperation for God right where I am will certainly keep me from death-- for the gift of God is eternal life. 

Making peace with God's will is embracing that relationship, asking forgiveness for the sin that kept us from Him & forsaking it completely.  This is where to live in the "peace that passes understanding."

I'm consistently taking a few steps forward and a couple back, then beating myself up because I took a few back.  Punishing myself emotionally keeps me from continuing forward... but if I truly take a moment to look, there has been progress and I'm not anywhere close to the person I used to be, even if I still have a long way to go.  sigh.  Like I was saying in the previous post the Lord keeps showing me that I need to keep my eye on Him, on the prize. 

Psalm 16:8

"I keep my eyes always on the Lord, with Him at my right hand, I will not be shaken."

What He wants most is to be with me & I want nothing more than to have a real & passionate relationship with our Creator & Savior.  What could possibly be more valuable?  Surely, nothing I am holding so tightly to can even come close to matching such value. 

19th. Keep Your Eye on the Prize

I needed this encouragement!  I found the link to this song on someone's facebook page and God used it to remind me not to get discouraged, but to keep moving forward.   Psalms 16:8 says, "I keep my eyes always on the Lord, with Him at my right hand I will not be shaken."  Keep moving forward in the Lord, there is no time to wallow in mistakes.  A quote I've heard hundreds of times now is "fail forward to success" the victory is always in the getting up... Getting up moves us forward, even if we trip again in that first step up.  Keep getting up-- Keep your eye on Him, on the prize. "Keep Your Eye on It" by Toby Mac.

1 Corinthians 9:24-27 NASB
24Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 25Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. 27No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.


Philippians 3:13b-14
but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, 14I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus

ten thousand reasons

Finding Him...

I'm pretty sure I've shared this song before "Find You on my Knees" by Kari Jobe, but as I search for words to express where I am right now the words in this song keep coming to mind.  The weight of my responsibilities seems to be growing as I'm recognizing habits that need to be broken & new formed. I feel a little lost as I seek direction in how to change, how to bend and give it all over to God. How to live in Christ, in His grace, without becoming lazy or legalistic in my walk... but only becoming more Christ-like as I give my whole life to Him... Finding Him on my "knees"-- in prayer.


"Find You On My Knees"

Troubles chasing me again,
Breaking down my best defence,
I'm looking, God, I'm looking for you
Weary just won't let me rest and fear is filling up my head.
I'm longing, God I'm longing for you

But I will find you in the place I'm in, find you when I'm at my end,
Find you when there's nothing left of me to offer you except for brokenness.
You lift me up, you'll never leave me thirsty,
When I am weak, when I am lost and searching
I'll find you on my knees.

So what if sorrow shakes my faith,
What if heartache still remains,
I'll trust you, my God I'll trust you.
'Cause You are faithful and

I will find you in the place I'm in, find you when I'm at my end,
Find you when there's nothing left of me to offer you except for brokenness.
You lift me up, you'll never leave me thirsty,
When I am weak, when I am lost and searching
I'll find you on my knees, my knees.

When my hope is gone, when the fear is strong
When the pain is real, when it's hard to heal
When my faith is shaken and my heart is broken and my joy is stolen, God I know that

You lift me up, you'll never leave me thirsty,

Find you in the place I'm in, find you when I'm at my end,
Find you when there's nothing left of me to offer you except for brokenness.
You lift me up, you'll never leave me thirsty,
When I am weak, when I am lost and searching
I'll find you on my knees.

my biggest fear

Fear. It seeks to consume.
My biggest fear? ... Failure.  If I think I might not be good at something, I'll generally not bother trying.
That's why it's interesting to see what God has led me to do, like writing this blog for instance. It is not something I would've opted to do on my own.  It's somewhat horrifying & now that I've gotten used to it, He is opening another door.  The ground seems shaky and unstable at best, but the truth is that it's the most stable "ground" I've ever walked on because I'm on the path that is God led.
And as I keep moving forward, feeling like I'm going to step and the ground is going to quake and I'll fall through and my life will be the ultimate failure; I am reminded of several promises in scripture.

Isaiah 41:10

Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.


Deuteronomy 31:6

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." (NIV)

Deuteronomy 31:8
Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.”(NLT)

Isaiah 52:12

But you will not leave in haste or go in flight; for the LORD will go before you, the God of Israel will be your rear guard. (NIV)

Psalm 139: 5

You hem me in—behind and before;

you have laid your hand upon me. (NIV- Psalmist praising God). 

There are many more like this and as I read even 1 of these promises, I am encouraged to move forward in daily obedience to the Lord- our Creator. 

Power in prayer

Before ever meeting my husband I prayed for him, in specific ways. After meeting & getting married I learned how God had answered my prayers through several different events in his life. In remembering the power in these prayers we started praying for our children's future spouses. There is far more to prayer & giving thanks both daily & specifically than we realize. Digging deeper is key to strengthening our prayer lives.

communication

Prayer.
Relationship with the Creator.
Communication with HIM.
It changes circumstances, paths, people, & me.
I can literally no nothing without God-- not even breathe. but there are so many more levels to this scriptural truth.
Being directed by God, changed by HIM, pruned by HIM, disciplined by HIM, utterly LOVED by HIM, cherished by HIM, led by HIM, helped by HIM, healed by HIM, provided for by HIM, protected by HIM, given life by HIM, redeemed by HIM>>> in heart, mind, & soul>>> is everything. He longs to be our everything, if we'll just communicate with Him, we can start letting Him be our everything.

I'm Learning how to have a richer prayer life. Thankful for mentors like Elizabeth George, who wrote "A Woman After God's Own Heart" who uses scripture after scripture in her writing to further direct us to God.

finding God

Kari Jobe.
"Find YOU on my Knees"  a prayer. a recognition of God and self.

follow up to yesterday's post...

To follow up on yesterday's post.  I was seriously freaking out last night.  Today's appointment wasn't nearly as bad as the appointment before, when we were in the Dr Room for 1 1/2 hrs with a constantly screaming toddler, etc...  but today all 4 children did have to be restrained for shots. It was sad.  I was very thankful that Scott was there and that he offered to be there!! Thank You, Lord!!  After the first had her shots, everyone cried until it was over. Then we did a drive-thru lunch & Target where everyone got a toy (yes, I realize that bribing your kids is wrong, but...) ... + a couple of errands. Amelia broke down in Target. When we got home everyone was getting along and happily playing; I snuck away to take a shower & when I went to check on them after, they were still getting along and happily playing.  Madelyn said, "welllll, they were fighting for a minute."  But hey they worked it out with out me!!
The stressful parts of the day I did have to keep praying,  breathing, and not taking the weight on my shoulders/ upper back (where I tend to start hurting during stress).  God kept me. He did it!  He gave me rest & sent my husband with me to help buffer the Dr. madness.
Today, He also pried some fear out of my hands and helped me to simply walk in obedience without freaking out. I felt really good.

Deuteronomy 31:8

"The LORD is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed."
truth.

tomorrow will be a hectic day!! LORD HELP me!!

Tomorrow...
I can already feel the stress starting to mount as Madelyn bursts into tears-- wailing.  No. Tomorrow, I believe the real wailing will begin and I'm tempted not to make her.  Bribe her to get a flu shot along with her other siblings (2 of which already had a flu shot but have to go back to finish the catch up on vaccines). In the past few years when we didn't get the shot, we did get the flu.
Shots for FOUR children.
Lunch. IN public. with Four young children-- who just got shots, because our house is 40 minutes away from our pediatrician.
Possible fevers after.
A trip to Target or Toys R' Us to satisfy the bribe so they'll bravely-- though screaming-- take the shots.
Home. briefly.
And off alone to a new God-led adventure for the evening.
Bed.
I already want to sleep after tomorrow's day.
I already feel the weight of the children's tears during our pediatrician visit and weariness afterwards.
Already.
And THIS... this anxiety is why prayer is so important, giving it all over to God, for it is HE who wants our responsibility for our lives. My hands off my life and HIS hands gently holding it, protecting it, redeeming it. When I throw off my anxiety for the day onto HIM, just as He asks us to do, He promises to give me rest!! Rest in the midst of a stressful day? Peace that passes understanding? I'll take it, gladly... and first... I will throw--as hard as I can-- my anxiety for today onto Him. And I'll do it again the next day. Forming a daily habit of casting all my cares on Him for He cares for me (1 Peter 5:7)!! <3

living closer to Him.

The point of the sermon on the Mount? (you can read it in yesterday's post).
A.n.y.t.h.i.n.g. that catapults us to recognizing our true desperation for God... becomes a blessing.
It all has purpose. It all works us closer to Him. Living in eternity with Him. Living comforted by Him. Living as heirs to the earth. Living righteous. Living receiving His compassion. Living, seeing God. Living as a son/ daughter of God.
The first parts of these blessings are painful, but God promises these blessings for those who seek Him. What an encouragement. For these blessings are more pure than any human could ever completely give.

want a blessing?

What does blessing really look like? According to Jesus the start to receiving it can feel quite emotionally painful, but great blessing and joy is on the other side of each thing, as long as we are burying ourselves in relationship with Him. A pure relationship, unhindered... that's where the blessing resides.

The Message is a paraphrased version of the Bible and just for a modern day glimpse of what this scripture could be saying, here it is:

You’re Blessed

Matthew 5 ^1-2 When Jesus saw his ministry drawing huge crowds, he climbed a hillside. Those who were apprenticed to him, the committed, climbed with him. Arriving at a quiet place, he sat down and taught his climbing companions. This is what he said:

³ “You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.

⁴ “You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

⁵ “You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.

⁶ “You’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink in the best meal you’ll ever eat.

⁷ “You’re blessed when you care. At the moment of being ‘care-full,’ you find yourselves cared for.

⁸ “You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

⁹ “You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family.

¹⁰ “You’re blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God’s kingdom.

^11-12 “Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don’t like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.

Just in case you're not familiar with a more word for word translation from the original text, here's that according to the New American Standard which accrording to Dr. Howard Hendrix a brilliant teacher from Dallas Theological Seminary (& once Liberty University) is the most accurate translation:

The Sermon on the Mount; The Beatitudes
      1When Jesus saw the crowds, He went up on the mountain; and after He sat down, His disciples came to Him. 2He opened His mouth and began to teach them, saying,

      3“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

      4“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

      5“Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth.

      6“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

      7“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.

      8“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

      9“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

      10“Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

      11“Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. 12“Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. 

hit and miss?

Want to change your life dramatically?
Pray.

I think I'm starting to get it.
We were created to need a relationship with God & a life cannot and will not be full with out it.
I'm not only talking about the occasional, "God please help me (or them)" mini prayers.

I'm sure anyone reading this has been talking with a friend (or you are the friend) who just cannot stop checking facebook or pinterest on their smart phone.  Ashamedly I am so guilty of doing this to people. What I'm reading has my attention more than my friend trying to talk to me about something (whether I would've ever admitted it or not). If every conversation I had with my husband my eyes were on my smart phone or computer screen our relationship would suffer a great deal.  So often prayer is like that-- a hit and miss prayer life full of distractions that keep me from intimately connecting with the Creator, our Savior.  How can we change and give God our full attention, with out interruption? How can we change and have a conversation with God? Ask the Holy Spirit for help and follow His leading. Amazing things happen when uninterrupted, undistracted prayer time  happens in a person's life on a daily basis. So many people can attest to it. God not only answers prayer, but He does a great work in our hearts and lives through it, not to mention in the lives of those we pray for.  He is so much more amazing than we give Him credit for-- and trust me He deserves all the credit.  Prayer-- a relationship with Him-- is the very thing meant to get us through this life.
Galatians 8:28. He works all things together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose.
<3

Brand New Day

fun song. true lyrics. :)  ALL to the glory of God!! He gives to free me from sin. my victories completely belong to Him.
KJ52- Brand New Day.

amazed

Amazed by God. It's amazing that He forgives over and over again... I mess up a lot (we all do, don't we?)  His pure radiating Love is quite amazing. HE loves with absolute patience toward us. He loves with absolute kindness toward us. He loves us with absolute humility. He loves, completely desiring to do good toward us. He loves with out ever turning His back on us... in fact He strides ahead of us while chasing us with His love simultaneously.. He is all around us, available to fill us with His love.  When He forgives He doesn't hold it over our head-- He loves by offering complete, absolute forgiveness of sins. He Loves by holding us up and carrying us through. He believes all things that are true.  He hopes all things that are right. He endures all things. and God... He Loves by never failing.
Learning to Love Him more. He is teaching me. Ask for His help if you want it. He is there; He loves you. <3


1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never fails;

growing Love in the place of pride.

1 Corinthians 13:4, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud" (NIV).

Love is not proud. Pride. We're talking about the kind of pride here that gloats, that takes credit that belongs to God.  Pride does not give God the credit for all He does through me and for me.  He created me, He gave me any talent I have, He saved me from eternal damnation & earthly slavery to sin, there is nothing I can do that will make any eternal difference without Him.  I need Him for everything, everything any of us are is because of Him. 

Jesus came to earth to live in a human shell-- becoming the absolute example of humility. And He never bothered standing up for Himself, or make a case for Himself to anyone pleading for respect; rather He lived by example and Loved-- which is not proud. I was convicted today as I read about the humility and modesty of Christ, who never went back to His disciples and asked if He did a good job... no instead His confidence came through His relationship with God the Father.  It's a thing I've done countless times mainly due to my own insecurities that need feeding so I can feel secure for a moment.  I think it's something we all crave & hint for-- others' approval.  That false security produces pride; even if for a moment.  There are all kinds of things I can become prideful over in a moment and then when it fails again depression ensues.  The answer to fight against the depression and the pride is to give credit to God and to have relationship that is  continuously growing closer to God-- for that is where godly confidence is born in us, it is where He gets the glory and He shines like a beacon through our lives. That close relationship with Him is where the opposites of Love slide off of us and Love abides stronger than ever.  Build LOVE & pride dies.  Asking God to help us choose Love in the moment rather than pride is the secret.  Yeah. it's something I'm definitely giving to the Lord... because truly I can do nothing with out Him.  

10K

Matt Reman's "10,000 Reasons"

the order of things.

Major things are coming, for me this year. God is leading me to change some things, though the biggest of all won't happen until September (No. I'm not pregnant).  It'll mean sacrifice on my part, but it's bitter sweet. Part of me looks forward to it, but the majority of my heart aches a little.  Here's the thing: If the Lord is leading me into it; & I know that's what this is, He is leading me in His & my best interest.  He desires to do good to us and promises to work all things together for our good.  Obedience precedes miracle & blessing... & peace.

Luke 17:11-14

"Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met him. They stood at a distance and called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!” When he saw them, he said, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed" (NIV-- italics mine).

Their faith took action when they were obedient. So often I look for God's blessing as a signal to be obedient; but that is not the order of things. 

last of 2012

2012 was some year.
Accepting God's Love.
Learning to Love Him in return, more and more each day.
Developing some of the best friendships I've ever had.
Blogging. (who knew)
no more MK (that came as a shock to some).
<3
Happy New Year everyone! <3 this is my last post of 2012 (even tho the ball just dropped ;).

year end song

year end song.  Jason Gray: "Its good to be Alive" indeed it is :)