Speaking of giving up everything to follow Christ. I'm really wondering if any of us really have let go of this world for Him. It seems that salvation is the first step that opens the door to eternal security with God, but somewhere along the line it gets cut short and the layering of fully following Him stops. It's not supposed to stop.
There's a fullness to knowing God that so many of us are missing. There's more I need to let go of so I can follow Him more fully and it feels like my white knuckled spiritual hands may crumble in the letting go. And the verse where Jesus says that it's "easier for a camel to go through an eye of a needle than a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven", comes to mind. Don't get me wrong here, I'm confident I will be in heaven after this life. However, those of us reading this on our computer or smart phone... we live in excess, like this rich man. There are all kinds of things we couldn't see ourselves going without, and if God asked us to eliminate something from our lives or to eliminate parts of those "important" things we'd be hard pressed.
Once it finally happens and we release our expectations of this life, our possessions, our schedule to the Lord we wonder why it took so long to give over something that in all actuality means little to nothing in exchange for a closer more intimate relationship with the Creator of the Universe, for His infinitely perfect vision & direction on our lives, for real Hope, for everything that means everything.
Paul said it best:
"More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing
value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss
of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived
from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the
righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith," (Phil 3:8-9, NASB).
Friday, November 30, 2012
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
giving
I hesitated sharing this; there's a lot of different perceptions it can create and I don't really like any of them. I don't like anyone to know if I give, or when I give, or how much I give, or why... I like this kind of thing to be secret. I used to have a friend who'd tell people he was unemployed, because he didn't want people to associate him with his job and how much money he might make. I kinda feel the same way about giving. bleh. Plus, God used this giving opportunity to dislodge some ugliness in my heart. I sort of passively talked about it in a post a few days ago.
A couple days before Thanksgiving I helped this lady who I often see pushing a stroller with her 2 young girls in it on the sidewalk near where I live. They're walking a main 4 lane road. It is obvious they don't have much and the Lord asked me to stop and do whatever I could to help them. "Great!" was my initial response; I truly do love the opportunity to do something significant for someone and tell them that Jesus loves them. She said she needed food and it was clear her children needed coats, etc; I took them to a store where we could get both groceries and clothing. She was excited & tried to put lots of things in her cart that were not in the "need" category. I was so happy to get her what she did need, but growing increasingly frustrated & running out of time as family was coming in that afternoon. I did keep steering her in the direction of need & warm clothing... & finally groceries. That night she called me with a request of something she forgot to get, on my voice mail. The next day she called 4 times and left 2 messages; I don't answer my phone when I'm with family or friends. Thanksgiving day she called 3 times and left no messages & Friday morning she called again. Friday afternoon I took her what she had forgotten and she asked for $5 for a prescription... She asked passively by hinting that she needed the money. I said, 'well that's not much' to which she replied 'it's a lot if you don't have it.' .... and I thought, "agghhh!!! my pockets aren't quite as deep as you think they are, do you not see what I've spent already? money runs dry for 95% of people and I am in that group too... obviously a different part of that group, but still..." BUT I said... 'yall, have a Merry Christmas.' and left.
I had a couple of errands to run. It was black friday... and I didn't buy anything except for a couple things I had promised my girls when they missed out on something fun because they were sick. I argued with God the entire time I was in Hobby Lobby. "$5 is a drop in the bucket and you know it." He'd say. Bleh! was my heart's response. "I've already done SO much for her. I don't need to do anything else." He just kept pressing on my heart to help with this too. I felt like she was trying to take advantage of my generosity. I want to help her &/or other people on my terms... As I was leaving Hobby Lobby there were 2 paintings; the first was the one of the last supper and the second was of the nativity scene. The Nativity stopped me and I stared at it, like I was an onlooker at an art gallery or museum. My heart softened and I started thanking God for what He did in coming to earth in human form, wondering what it must've been like to be God born in a human shell. Thanking Him for giving up everything to come to earth for me-- and for you-- to seek and to save we who were/ are lost. Loving Him. And He spoke to my heart, "I'm asking you (all of My followers) to give up everything and follow Me. If I want you to go pick up a simple prescription for this woman, won't you do it, without question?" Soooo.... I grumbled & called this lady, who I was still frustrated with to ask her where her prescription was... she didn't think I'd go in Wal-mart to get it since I told her about my agoraphobia and it was Black Friday. She also argued that they wouldn't give it to me. I went in to pick it up and they didn't have it. Surprise. Surprise. Maybe she wanted the $5 for cigarettes? But instead of all this cynicism, the Lord spoke to me pointing out that this was about my heart being willing toward HIM, not about actually paying for her Rx.
She called me a few times each day through Monday, and leaving a message asking for something at least once each day. But I don't feel guilty at all for not responding, now that my heart is just willing to do whatever it is God leads me to do. Of course, if the phone calls start again, I'll have to explain to her that God is our provider and if she needs something to please pray and ask God for the provision... He will send someone to her if she needs it. That person may or may not be me.
A couple days before Thanksgiving I helped this lady who I often see pushing a stroller with her 2 young girls in it on the sidewalk near where I live. They're walking a main 4 lane road. It is obvious they don't have much and the Lord asked me to stop and do whatever I could to help them. "Great!" was my initial response; I truly do love the opportunity to do something significant for someone and tell them that Jesus loves them. She said she needed food and it was clear her children needed coats, etc; I took them to a store where we could get both groceries and clothing. She was excited & tried to put lots of things in her cart that were not in the "need" category. I was so happy to get her what she did need, but growing increasingly frustrated & running out of time as family was coming in that afternoon. I did keep steering her in the direction of need & warm clothing... & finally groceries. That night she called me with a request of something she forgot to get, on my voice mail. The next day she called 4 times and left 2 messages; I don't answer my phone when I'm with family or friends. Thanksgiving day she called 3 times and left no messages & Friday morning she called again. Friday afternoon I took her what she had forgotten and she asked for $5 for a prescription... She asked passively by hinting that she needed the money. I said, 'well that's not much' to which she replied 'it's a lot if you don't have it.' .... and I thought, "agghhh!!! my pockets aren't quite as deep as you think they are, do you not see what I've spent already? money runs dry for 95% of people and I am in that group too... obviously a different part of that group, but still..." BUT I said... 'yall, have a Merry Christmas.' and left.
I had a couple of errands to run. It was black friday... and I didn't buy anything except for a couple things I had promised my girls when they missed out on something fun because they were sick. I argued with God the entire time I was in Hobby Lobby. "$5 is a drop in the bucket and you know it." He'd say. Bleh! was my heart's response. "I've already done SO much for her. I don't need to do anything else." He just kept pressing on my heart to help with this too. I felt like she was trying to take advantage of my generosity. I want to help her &/or other people on my terms... As I was leaving Hobby Lobby there were 2 paintings; the first was the one of the last supper and the second was of the nativity scene. The Nativity stopped me and I stared at it, like I was an onlooker at an art gallery or museum. My heart softened and I started thanking God for what He did in coming to earth in human form, wondering what it must've been like to be God born in a human shell. Thanking Him for giving up everything to come to earth for me-- and for you-- to seek and to save we who were/ are lost. Loving Him. And He spoke to my heart, "I'm asking you (all of My followers) to give up everything and follow Me. If I want you to go pick up a simple prescription for this woman, won't you do it, without question?" Soooo.... I grumbled & called this lady, who I was still frustrated with to ask her where her prescription was... she didn't think I'd go in Wal-mart to get it since I told her about my agoraphobia and it was Black Friday. She also argued that they wouldn't give it to me. I went in to pick it up and they didn't have it. Surprise. Surprise. Maybe she wanted the $5 for cigarettes? But instead of all this cynicism, the Lord spoke to me pointing out that this was about my heart being willing toward HIM, not about actually paying for her Rx.
She called me a few times each day through Monday, and leaving a message asking for something at least once each day. But I don't feel guilty at all for not responding, now that my heart is just willing to do whatever it is God leads me to do. Of course, if the phone calls start again, I'll have to explain to her that God is our provider and if she needs something to please pray and ask God for the provision... He will send someone to her if she needs it. That person may or may not be me.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Who wants a little love, or joy, or peace...???
Forgiveness. It grows the fruit of the spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, & kindness.
It easily feels as though forgiving means that the person who wronged us didn't do anything wrong, or that we have to be friends with them if we give forgiveness.
Forgiveness is actually the full acknowledgement that the other person wronged us. After that acknowledgement, it's asking God not to hold it against them & personally not holding it against them. Fully releasing them from the infringement. It is possible even if we don't want to do it; with God. Jesus said all things are possible for those who believe.
When we forgive, we then get opportunity after opportunity to hand the bits of it over to God. Every time you see that person or their name comes up and a twinge of unforgiveness or hate arise, there in lies the choice to give it to God again and to forgive. Bit by bit the unforgiveness lifts and each time we are filled a little more with love, or joy, or peace, or patience, or kindness... or all of these.
Things like this... they are a process. And that process is worth it. I mean who doesn't want more love, joy, peace, patience, or kindness?
It easily feels as though forgiving means that the person who wronged us didn't do anything wrong, or that we have to be friends with them if we give forgiveness.
Forgiveness is actually the full acknowledgement that the other person wronged us. After that acknowledgement, it's asking God not to hold it against them & personally not holding it against them. Fully releasing them from the infringement. It is possible even if we don't want to do it; with God. Jesus said all things are possible for those who believe.
When we forgive, we then get opportunity after opportunity to hand the bits of it over to God. Every time you see that person or their name comes up and a twinge of unforgiveness or hate arise, there in lies the choice to give it to God again and to forgive. Bit by bit the unforgiveness lifts and each time we are filled a little more with love, or joy, or peace, or patience, or kindness... or all of these.
Things like this... they are a process. And that process is worth it. I mean who doesn't want more love, joy, peace, patience, or kindness?
Monday, November 26, 2012
in other words...
Matthew 5:1-11.
"Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, and he began to teach them, saying:
“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
“Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you."
ie: The hard stuff that happens in life is a blessing because it inevitably provides the opportunity to know God further.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
feeling entitled
Entitlement. It's something that is on my pet peeve list.
Social Services offers help to a lot of people who need it... and as it seems a lot of people who don't... and to a lot of people who become completely dependent on it and; therefore, gain a feeling of entitlement regarding that "help".
Children can grow up to have a sense of entitlement to the provision of their parents. It's one thing to have it at 5, but it's something else to have that same provision at 45... workless.
Spouses can become dependent on the other for a particular way of life--- by habit, or material, or entertainment, or anything. Relationship becomes less and less important and getting one's own way rises to the top. After life is a certain way for a while one spouse is ready for a change-- for things to get better-- and the one who has this risen entitlement issue, pitches a fit.
With God... we think we deserve good comfortable lives... especially if we consider ourselves as good people (which ev-er-y-one things that they're good)... we think we deserve so much and as a soon as something we don't like happens we're going on and on about how we don't deserve "this." Thing is "deserve" is not a factor with God.
Anytime we think we deserve something for any reason... we have a sense of entitlement. It's a hard fact.
And as I'm faced with being annoyed about others who have this attitude; I start seeing evidences of it in my own life. I'm pretty sure all of us would if we took a good hard look at ourselves.
God please forgive me and change my heart.
Further... what does God call blessing?
Matthew 5:1-11.
Social Services offers help to a lot of people who need it... and as it seems a lot of people who don't... and to a lot of people who become completely dependent on it and; therefore, gain a feeling of entitlement regarding that "help".
Children can grow up to have a sense of entitlement to the provision of their parents. It's one thing to have it at 5, but it's something else to have that same provision at 45... workless.
Spouses can become dependent on the other for a particular way of life--- by habit, or material, or entertainment, or anything. Relationship becomes less and less important and getting one's own way rises to the top. After life is a certain way for a while one spouse is ready for a change-- for things to get better-- and the one who has this risen entitlement issue, pitches a fit.
With God... we think we deserve good comfortable lives... especially if we consider ourselves as good people (which ev-er-y-one things that they're good)... we think we deserve so much and as a soon as something we don't like happens we're going on and on about how we don't deserve "this." Thing is "deserve" is not a factor with God.
Anytime we think we deserve something for any reason... we have a sense of entitlement. It's a hard fact.
And as I'm faced with being annoyed about others who have this attitude; I start seeing evidences of it in my own life. I'm pretty sure all of us would if we took a good hard look at ourselves.
God please forgive me and change my heart.
Further... what does God call blessing?
Matthew 5:1-11.
Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, and he began to teach them, saying:
“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
“Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
light it up
"Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path" (Psalm 119:105--KJV).
For a long time now I've recognized this verse for it's truth, but somehow not made it completely or permanently true in my life.
Earlier this year I read the Bible through and during that time I walked closely with the Lord. The only way to have light to see is through the Word of God and the level to which I read & memorize is the level to which my path is lit. The level to which I do not read & start to believe lies is also the level to which my path darkens. And who wants to walk in darkness anyway?
For a long time now I've recognized this verse for it's truth, but somehow not made it completely or permanently true in my life.
Earlier this year I read the Bible through and during that time I walked closely with the Lord. The only way to have light to see is through the Word of God and the level to which I read & memorize is the level to which my path is lit. The level to which I do not read & start to believe lies is also the level to which my path darkens. And who wants to walk in darkness anyway?
Alive.
My adoration for Him does not match up in heart and action all the time. But when it does... I feel whole.
wisdom from the Mad Hatter?
"Everything is possible for him who believes." --Jesus (Mark 9:23).
I made a fun little diaper cake for a baby shower while I watched Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland. Loved it. My favorite line?
Alice: "Sometimes I believe 6 impossible things before breakfast."
Mad Hatter: "That is an excellent practice."
She was about to slay a dragon. Her destiny. In her eyes it was going to be impossible. But it was quite possible for her to be the one to do it. The Lord leads us to do things that we may see as impossible, but maybe we need to take up this "excellent practice" the Mad Hatter speaks of & think of 6 impossible things before practice... count them.
Salvation-- yet Christ made the way for us to God the Father. Jesus says the only way to the Father is through Him.
Redemption-- yet through Christ our lives, no matter how battered, can become healed and whole.
Healing-- yep lots of people are still healed everyday from physical & emotional pain.
Living anew-- Romans 5-6. dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.
God Protection-- Reading about how God protected in Corrie ten Boom's book The Hiding Place, was amazing!!! she shares proof of miracles (the impossible).
Forgiveness-- it seems that loving someone who has done wrong to us is just plainly impossible without the love & forgiveness of Christ. (like Corrie ten Boom forgiving one of the most brutal guards from the concentration camp she was imprisoned in)
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
failure after failure. continued from yesterday.
speaking of failure after failure... (I talked about that yesterday)...
I've found myself yelling lately. I don't know why really. I asked my daughters to forgive me today and told them that I was asking Jesus for forgiveness too. It's like... frustration after frustration builds up and I don't give thanks. Ungrateful for the "ugly beautiful".
Giving thanks in every circumstance is where we find real joy.
Psalm 118: 29, "Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever."
Psalm 118:1, " Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever."
Psalm 105:1, "Give thanks to the LORD, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done."
1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18, "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus."
Getting to God to give Him thanks before the outburst... that's the goal. I am thankful that this is the first time I haven't beaten myself up for this kind of thing... instead I asked for forgiveness and moved on in what I learned from it all.
I've found myself yelling lately. I don't know why really. I asked my daughters to forgive me today and told them that I was asking Jesus for forgiveness too. It's like... frustration after frustration builds up and I don't give thanks. Ungrateful for the "ugly beautiful".
Giving thanks in every circumstance is where we find real joy.
Psalm 118: 29, "Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever."
Psalm 118:1, " Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever."
Psalm 105:1, "Give thanks to the LORD, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done."
1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18, "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus."
Getting to God to give Him thanks before the outburst... that's the goal. I am thankful that this is the first time I haven't beaten myself up for this kind of thing... instead I asked for forgiveness and moved on in what I learned from it all.
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Becoming Perfect
I used to think that is was possible to "have it all together". I thought that a Christian who had been saved a long time and was not in ministry must really be on top of things & that they never hurt anyone... Like, how much they love God directly impacts their level of perfection. I would've denied that wording-- "perfect"-- but when I looked at certain people like Beth Moore or the infamous Billy Graham; perfect was exactly what I thought. What's the secret? If I just try hard enough and work toward where I think that is... I'll get there. Eventually.
I'm finally starting to see.
“I do not admire the term ‘progressive sanctification’, for it is unwarranted by Scripture.
But it is certain that the Christian does grow in grace.
And though his conflict may be as severe in the last day of his life as in the first moment of conversion, yet he does advance in grace —
and all his imperfections and his conflicts within cannot prove that he has not made progress.”
and Ann Voskamp adds, "Christianity isn’t about growing good — it’s about growing grace-filled" (www.aholyexperience.com).
The testimony of this woman, Corrie ten Boom, I've come to admire more than any other person I've heard of besides Christ had all kinds of things in her life that proved her imperfection & weaknesses over, and over, and over again. What made her admirable and different, one of the greatest Christians to ever live? She constantly and consistently sought God. If she needed comfort, direction, help, provision, protection, anything... she went to God. She sought forgiveness from Him every time she needed it. If she fell and became distant she bounced back to Him over and over... and her bounce-back-ability became faster and faster. She was after the heart of God & quite literally followed Him to the ends of the earth until she was united with Him face-to-face in heaven.
What then does God deliver us from, if He's not delivering us to self-perfection? He is delivering us from all these things we turn to instead of Him for comfort, direction, help, provision, protection, anything... When it comes down to it, He is delivering us from complete self-centeredness and delivering us to Christ-centeredness. This Christ-centered life is the goal, it is the perfection of heaven... in the midst of failure after failure, living a Christ-centered life grows us in His grace. To Love Him is to Trust Him, and to Trust Him is to Obey Him-- it is the essence of the Christ-centered life. This life is also evident by the growth of the fruit of the Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, & Self-control.
I'm finally starting to see.
“I do not admire the term ‘progressive sanctification’, for it is unwarranted by Scripture.
But it is certain that the Christian does grow in grace.
And though his conflict may be as severe in the last day of his life as in the first moment of conversion, yet he does advance in grace —
and all his imperfections and his conflicts within cannot prove that he has not made progress.”
and Ann Voskamp adds, "Christianity isn’t about growing good — it’s about growing grace-filled" (www.aholyexperience.com).
The testimony of this woman, Corrie ten Boom, I've come to admire more than any other person I've heard of besides Christ had all kinds of things in her life that proved her imperfection & weaknesses over, and over, and over again. What made her admirable and different, one of the greatest Christians to ever live? She constantly and consistently sought God. If she needed comfort, direction, help, provision, protection, anything... she went to God. She sought forgiveness from Him every time she needed it. If she fell and became distant she bounced back to Him over and over... and her bounce-back-ability became faster and faster. She was after the heart of God & quite literally followed Him to the ends of the earth until she was united with Him face-to-face in heaven.
What then does God deliver us from, if He's not delivering us to self-perfection? He is delivering us from all these things we turn to instead of Him for comfort, direction, help, provision, protection, anything... When it comes down to it, He is delivering us from complete self-centeredness and delivering us to Christ-centeredness. This Christ-centered life is the goal, it is the perfection of heaven... in the midst of failure after failure, living a Christ-centered life grows us in His grace. To Love Him is to Trust Him, and to Trust Him is to Obey Him-- it is the essence of the Christ-centered life. This life is also evident by the growth of the fruit of the Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, & Self-control.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
closing the circle.
wanted to share a bit of what I read in "Tramp for the Lord" by Corrie ten Boom; a Dutch woman who was imprisoned in a death camp for smuggling Jews to safety during the Holocaust. After her release she throughly traveled the world to share the Love and Joy and Peace of knowing Christ personally.
In Chapter 30 she writes:
It would seem, after having been a Christian for almost eighty years that I would no longer do ugly things that need forgiving. Yet I am constantly doing things to others that cause me to have to go back and ask their forgiveness. Sometimes these are things I actually do-- other times they are simply attitudes I let creep in which break the circle of God's perfect love. I first learned the secret of closing the circle from my nephew, Peter van Woerden, who was spending the weekend with me in our little apartment in Baarn, Holland.
"Do you remember that boy, Jan, that we prayed for?" Peter asked.
I well remember Jan. We had prayed for him many times. He had a horrible demon of darkness in his life. Although we had fasted and prayed and cast out the demon in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, the darkness always returned.
Peter continued, "I knew God had brought this boy to me not only so he could be delivered, but to teach me some lessons too."
I looked at Peter. "What could that boy, Jan, so filled with darkness, teach you?"
"I did not learn the lesson from Jan," Peter smiled. "But from God. Once in my intercession time for Jan, the Lord told me to open my Bible to 1 John 1:7-9. I read that passage about confessing our sin and asked the Lord what that had to do with the darkness in Jan's life."
Peter got up and walked across the room, holding his open Bible in his hand. "God taught me that if a Christian walks in the light, then the blood of Jesus Christ cleanses him from all sin, making his life a closed circle and protecting him from all outside dark powers. But--" he turned and emphatically jabbed his finger into the pages of the Bible--"if there is unconfessed sin in that life, the circle has an opening in it-- a gap-- and this allows the dark powers to come back in."
Ah, I thought , Peter has really learned a truth from the Lord.
"Tante Corrie," Peter continued, "even though I was able to cast out the demon in Jan's life, it always crept back in through the opening in the circle--the opening of Jan's unconfessed sin. But when I led Jan to confess this sin, then the circle was closed, and the dark powers could no longer return."...
the chapter goes on with more examples of how this scriptural truth plays out in our lives.
In Chapter 30 she writes:
It would seem, after having been a Christian for almost eighty years that I would no longer do ugly things that need forgiving. Yet I am constantly doing things to others that cause me to have to go back and ask their forgiveness. Sometimes these are things I actually do-- other times they are simply attitudes I let creep in which break the circle of God's perfect love. I first learned the secret of closing the circle from my nephew, Peter van Woerden, who was spending the weekend with me in our little apartment in Baarn, Holland.
"Do you remember that boy, Jan, that we prayed for?" Peter asked.
I well remember Jan. We had prayed for him many times. He had a horrible demon of darkness in his life. Although we had fasted and prayed and cast out the demon in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, the darkness always returned.
Peter continued, "I knew God had brought this boy to me not only so he could be delivered, but to teach me some lessons too."
I looked at Peter. "What could that boy, Jan, so filled with darkness, teach you?"
"I did not learn the lesson from Jan," Peter smiled. "But from God. Once in my intercession time for Jan, the Lord told me to open my Bible to 1 John 1:7-9. I read that passage about confessing our sin and asked the Lord what that had to do with the darkness in Jan's life."
Peter got up and walked across the room, holding his open Bible in his hand. "God taught me that if a Christian walks in the light, then the blood of Jesus Christ cleanses him from all sin, making his life a closed circle and protecting him from all outside dark powers. But--" he turned and emphatically jabbed his finger into the pages of the Bible--"if there is unconfessed sin in that life, the circle has an opening in it-- a gap-- and this allows the dark powers to come back in."
Ah, I thought , Peter has really learned a truth from the Lord.
"Tante Corrie," Peter continued, "even though I was able to cast out the demon in Jan's life, it always crept back in through the opening in the circle--the opening of Jan's unconfessed sin. But when I led Jan to confess this sin, then the circle was closed, and the dark powers could no longer return."...
the chapter goes on with more examples of how this scriptural truth plays out in our lives.
Friday, November 16, 2012
Endurance
2 Corinthians 13..."love endures all things". There's nothing that would ever cause God to stop loving you. <3
Finally recognizing this truth. Just wanting to live Him back, the way I was created to.
Finally recognizing this truth. Just wanting to live Him back, the way I was created to.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
sometimes
Sometimes a song just says it best. <3
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Grace
So, I tend to crumble and shirk off responsibilities when I feel like a failure. It turns out that this is a very "me focused" thing to do. And if I think I might fail at something, I tend to avoid it all together. Of course, the other side of the coin is that when I think I can succeed at something the pitfalls seem non-existent and I bull doze through until a way is made.
The Lord said this to someone in the Bible & pointing out how I am to me last night: "Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it."
It seems like this whole thing is cyclical-- a hamster wheel of choices. I'm starting to to realize that when my husband tells me I'm too hard on myself, he's right. shhh. don't tell him I admitted to that. ;) The thing is that if I would just focus steadily on the Lord and His leading and not my own abilities, HE would still be shining through all this brokenness & I wouldn't be so concerned about myself. Now that He lives in me, He shines through me in spite of my short comings...
On her blog today Ann Voskamp quoted Charles Spurgeon:
“I do not admire the term ‘progressive sanctification’, for it is unwarranted by Scripture.
But it is certain that the Christian does grow in grace.
And though his conflict may be as severe in the last day of his life as in the first moment of conversion, yet he does advance in grace —
and all his imperfections and his conflicts within cannot prove that he has not made progress.”
and she says, "Christianity isn’t about growing good — it’s about growing grace-filled" (www.aholyexperience.com).
And it's slowly occurring to me, this life is not about my feeble efforts, because true success is a life grace-filled... Christ-filled. The fullness of His fruit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, & self-control. This is a life Christ-focused, because my short-comings will always be that grace may about.
The Lord said this to someone in the Bible & pointing out how I am to me last night: "Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it."
It seems like this whole thing is cyclical-- a hamster wheel of choices. I'm starting to to realize that when my husband tells me I'm too hard on myself, he's right. shhh. don't tell him I admitted to that. ;) The thing is that if I would just focus steadily on the Lord and His leading and not my own abilities, HE would still be shining through all this brokenness & I wouldn't be so concerned about myself. Now that He lives in me, He shines through me in spite of my short comings...
On her blog today Ann Voskamp quoted Charles Spurgeon:
“I do not admire the term ‘progressive sanctification’, for it is unwarranted by Scripture.
But it is certain that the Christian does grow in grace.
And though his conflict may be as severe in the last day of his life as in the first moment of conversion, yet he does advance in grace —
and all his imperfections and his conflicts within cannot prove that he has not made progress.”
and she says, "Christianity isn’t about growing good — it’s about growing grace-filled" (www.aholyexperience.com).
And it's slowly occurring to me, this life is not about my feeble efforts, because true success is a life grace-filled... Christ-filled. The fullness of His fruit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, & self-control. This is a life Christ-focused, because my short-comings will always be that grace may about.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Cain & me.
The Lord said this to someone in the Bible: "Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it."
I am so much like this. If I am doing well, I'm happy!! If I'm not doing well, I'm falling apart! I did not realize that sin is crouching at my door!!!! I did not realize my emotion toward myself was so linked to an attack from the devil.
"Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour" (1 Peter 5:8--NASB).
But here's the answer God showed in the whole story of Cain & Abel (that first verse is what The Lord said to Cain):
many hundreds of years later the Psalmist writes: "I have set the LORD continually before me; Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken" (Psalm 16:8--NASB)
It is He, The Lord, who desires to give us victory over all this "me stuff" that keeps us from staying totally focused on Him... These self loathing things that make us sin. This intense perfectionism that doesn't quit. God intends to lead is to victory, and when we put Him continually in front of us, letting Him lead, intently following, we will not even be shaken!!
I am so much like this. If I am doing well, I'm happy!! If I'm not doing well, I'm falling apart! I did not realize that sin is crouching at my door!!!! I did not realize my emotion toward myself was so linked to an attack from the devil.
"Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour" (1 Peter 5:8--NASB).
But here's the answer God showed in the whole story of Cain & Abel (that first verse is what The Lord said to Cain):
many hundreds of years later the Psalmist writes: "I have set the LORD continually before me; Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken" (Psalm 16:8--NASB)
It is He, The Lord, who desires to give us victory over all this "me stuff" that keeps us from staying totally focused on Him... These self loathing things that make us sin. This intense perfectionism that doesn't quit. God intends to lead is to victory, and when we put Him continually in front of us, letting Him lead, intently following, we will not even be shaken!!
Must Read!!
Reading Corrie ten Boom's second book, Tramp for The Lord, which chronicles her missionary journeys once out of the German concentration camp. I'm convinced that everyone should read these books, starting with'The Hiding Place'!!! Her words are invaluable. There is so much to learn from this woman of God!! Growth in The Lord like God intends!! <3
Saturday, November 10, 2012
More than Enough.
freaking OUT.
Friday, I lost my wallet. I searched and searched for it, retracing my steps from the day. I prayed and then thought I'd left it at Food Lion, and a nervous nausea swept over me that it was probably stolen. I went to Food Lion and it wasn't there, upon returning home I sat down in desperation to look through the trash (it wouldn't have been the first time something valuable had been thrown away by a toddler). My stomach was in my throat recounting the cash, credit cards, insurance cards, etc... in my wallet. I just knew it had to have been stolen, because I'd searched through the house twice. As I looked up from the trash bag and stared off across the kitchen, I caught a glimpse of it!! WAHOO! It was on the bench seat behind our kitchen table! I don't know why it was there, but I was thrilled to have found it!! A relief flooded my frantic emotional state; I wanted to jump up and down I was so excited! I was NOT stolen! It is safe! My identity is mine.
And a verse came to mind:
And a verse came to mind:
Jesus said, “Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Does she not light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.’ In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents”(Luke 15:8-10).
Thursday, November 8, 2012
new favs
Isaiah 41:10
'Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.'
Jeremiah 33:3
'Call to Me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know.'
'Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.'
Jeremiah 33:3
'Call to Me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know.'
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
What does forgiveness look like?
A clip from "Tramp for the Lord" by Corrie ten Boom... she was a survivor of the Holocaust that the Lord sent out to deliver the message of the LOVE of God. In this passage she has just finished sharing God's message with a group of people in Germany...
"And that's when I saw him, working his way forward against the others. One moment I saw the overcoat and the brown hat; the next, a blue uniform and a visored cap with its skull and crossbones. It came back with a rush: the huge room with its harsh overhead lights; the pathetic pile of dresses and shoes in the center of the floor; the shame of wlaking naked past this man. I could see my sister's frail form ahead of me, ribs sharp beneath the parchment skin. Betsie, how thin you were!
The place was Ravensbruck, and the man who was making his way forward had been a guard--one of the most cruel guards.
Now he was in front of me, hand thrust out: "A fine message Fraulein! How good it is to know that, as you say, all our sins are at the bottom of the sea!"
And I, who had spoken so glibly of forgiveness, fumbled in my pocketbook rather than take that hand. He would not remember me, of course-- how could he remember one prisoner among those thousands of women?
But I remembered him and the leather crop swinging from his belt. I was face to face with one of my captors, and my blood seemed to freeze.
"You mentioned Ravensbruck in your talk," he was saying. "I was a guard there." No, he did not remember me.
"But since that time," he went on, "I have become a Christian. I know that God has forgiven me for the cruel things I did there, but I would like to hear it from your lips as well. Fraulein," -- again the hand came out--"will you forgive me?"
And I stood there--I whose sins had again and again been forgiven--and could not forgive. Betsie had died in that place--could he erase her slow terrible death simply for the asking?
It could not have been many seconds that he stood there-- hand held out-- but to me it seemed hours as I wrestled with the most difficult thing I had ever had to do.
For I had to do it-- I knew that. The message that God forgives has a prior condition: that we forgive those who have injured us. "if you do not forgive men their trespasses," Jesus says, "neither will you Father in heaven forgive your trespasses."
I knew it not only as a commandment of God, but as a daily experience. Since the end of the war, I had had a home in Holland for victims of Nazi brutality. Those who were able to forgive their former enemies were able also to return to the outside world and rebuild their lives, no matter what the physical scars. Those who nursed their bitterness remained invalids. It was as simple and as horrible as that.
And still I stood there with the coldness clutching my heart. But forgiveness is not an emotion-- I knew that too. Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart. Jesus, help me! I prayed silently. I can lift my hand. I can do that much. You supply the feeling.
And so woodenly, mechanically, I thrust my hand into the one stretched out to me. And as I did, an incredible thing took place. The current started in my shoulder, raced down my arm, sprang into our joined hands. And then this healing warmth seemed to flood my whole being, bringing tears to my eyes.
"I forgive you, brother!" I cried. "With all my heart."
For a long moment we grasped each other's hands, the former guard and the former prisoner. I had never known God's love so intensely as I did then. But even so, I realtized it was not my love. I had tried, and did not have the power. It was the power of the Holy Spirit as recorded in Romans 5:5 "...because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us."
"And that's when I saw him, working his way forward against the others. One moment I saw the overcoat and the brown hat; the next, a blue uniform and a visored cap with its skull and crossbones. It came back with a rush: the huge room with its harsh overhead lights; the pathetic pile of dresses and shoes in the center of the floor; the shame of wlaking naked past this man. I could see my sister's frail form ahead of me, ribs sharp beneath the parchment skin. Betsie, how thin you were!
The place was Ravensbruck, and the man who was making his way forward had been a guard--one of the most cruel guards.
Now he was in front of me, hand thrust out: "A fine message Fraulein! How good it is to know that, as you say, all our sins are at the bottom of the sea!"
And I, who had spoken so glibly of forgiveness, fumbled in my pocketbook rather than take that hand. He would not remember me, of course-- how could he remember one prisoner among those thousands of women?
But I remembered him and the leather crop swinging from his belt. I was face to face with one of my captors, and my blood seemed to freeze.
"You mentioned Ravensbruck in your talk," he was saying. "I was a guard there." No, he did not remember me.
"But since that time," he went on, "I have become a Christian. I know that God has forgiven me for the cruel things I did there, but I would like to hear it from your lips as well. Fraulein," -- again the hand came out--"will you forgive me?"
And I stood there--I whose sins had again and again been forgiven--and could not forgive. Betsie had died in that place--could he erase her slow terrible death simply for the asking?
It could not have been many seconds that he stood there-- hand held out-- but to me it seemed hours as I wrestled with the most difficult thing I had ever had to do.
For I had to do it-- I knew that. The message that God forgives has a prior condition: that we forgive those who have injured us. "if you do not forgive men their trespasses," Jesus says, "neither will you Father in heaven forgive your trespasses."
I knew it not only as a commandment of God, but as a daily experience. Since the end of the war, I had had a home in Holland for victims of Nazi brutality. Those who were able to forgive their former enemies were able also to return to the outside world and rebuild their lives, no matter what the physical scars. Those who nursed their bitterness remained invalids. It was as simple and as horrible as that.
And still I stood there with the coldness clutching my heart. But forgiveness is not an emotion-- I knew that too. Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart. Jesus, help me! I prayed silently. I can lift my hand. I can do that much. You supply the feeling.
And so woodenly, mechanically, I thrust my hand into the one stretched out to me. And as I did, an incredible thing took place. The current started in my shoulder, raced down my arm, sprang into our joined hands. And then this healing warmth seemed to flood my whole being, bringing tears to my eyes.
"I forgive you, brother!" I cried. "With all my heart."
For a long moment we grasped each other's hands, the former guard and the former prisoner. I had never known God's love so intensely as I did then. But even so, I realtized it was not my love. I had tried, and did not have the power. It was the power of the Holy Spirit as recorded in Romans 5:5 "...because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us."
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Finding Joy
There are all kinds of things that can steal our joy. They all have one common denominator. They all are things we try to find joy in instead of God. We all do it-- we look for rest by sitting down at the TV or drinking a glass or 5 of wine, we look for pleasure in all kinds of different ways, we try to find joy without God. Even feeling entitled to holding on to anger robs us of joy... unforgiveness breeds misery in our hearts & kills Love & joy! And when we complain we also rob ourselves of finding joy.
God gives us joy when we focus on Him by giving Him thanks for all things!! A couple of really great testimonial books on this are "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann VosKamp & "The Hiding Place" by Corrie ten Boom.
God grows joy in us when we make Him more important than anything else in our lives. It means going to Him to find rest, acceptance, security, peace, direction, etc... and we can be thankful for all things, because of His promise in Romans 8:28 to work all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
Walking away from all the things we seek to find joy in can feel like we're snagging and tearing through the eye of a needle... Jesus did say that it's easier for a rich man to go through the eye of a needle than to enter into the kingdom of heaven... we're rich in all the things we can turn to. But God is constant to give a way, and Jesus also said that nothing is impossible for God!! We can walk away from those other things and find peace and joy in God when we accept Christ, because it is He who made a way for us to enter the kingdom of heaven... to make the impossible, possible!
I have a few things that I somehow started going to instead of Him over time & I'm doing away with them and it's becoming obvious that those things have been robbing me of my life and therefore His joy.
Seeking Joy in the Lord by giving thanks to Him for everything. <3
God gives us joy when we focus on Him by giving Him thanks for all things!! A couple of really great testimonial books on this are "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann VosKamp & "The Hiding Place" by Corrie ten Boom.
God grows joy in us when we make Him more important than anything else in our lives. It means going to Him to find rest, acceptance, security, peace, direction, etc... and we can be thankful for all things, because of His promise in Romans 8:28 to work all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
Walking away from all the things we seek to find joy in can feel like we're snagging and tearing through the eye of a needle... Jesus did say that it's easier for a rich man to go through the eye of a needle than to enter into the kingdom of heaven... we're rich in all the things we can turn to. But God is constant to give a way, and Jesus also said that nothing is impossible for God!! We can walk away from those other things and find peace and joy in God when we accept Christ, because it is He who made a way for us to enter the kingdom of heaven... to make the impossible, possible!
I have a few things that I somehow started going to instead of Him over time & I'm doing away with them and it's becoming obvious that those things have been robbing me of my life and therefore His joy.
Seeking Joy in the Lord by giving thanks to Him for everything. <3
Monday, November 5, 2012
Hate Growth
How can you tell when hate is growing stronger in your life?
It just takes one.
One person to hurt you to the core, to tend to the flames of anger in your heart... it just takes one.
And the moment I choose not to forgive, is the moment hate takes root & starts maneuvering in the recesses of my heart. And it spreads and spreads until the roots are everywhere, choking out the life of love.
I might not even realize there is anything to forgive if the pain is from childhood. That kind of unforgiveness is tricky and not easy to realize.
Parents & teachers, even the most well intentioned, can cause much damage in a child's heart... to the point that their child can grow to hate that gender. Creating chauvinism & feminism.
The same can happen with race. Something a child of one race can do to another in hate can cause a ripple to happen making the victimized child not only hate the "perpetrator" but also everyone of that same race.
The same can happen in social class, I'm pretty sure everyone has ideas about each social class including their own... and there is a reason for those ideas.
So the hate grows from not forgiving that one person, hating that one person, to hating all people who are remotely the same; by gender, race, or social status. Then it spreads to your children, your grandchildren, your great-grandchildren, and so on... until someone is conscience enough of it to break the cycle. I know adults who are chauvinists because their fathers were, who are racist because their parents were, who look down on other social classes because their parents did... and for no other reason. AND it all started with that first person not forgiving someone who hurt them.
I'm Thankful for difficult circumstances that give rise to opportunities to give over chunks of hate to the Lord. Those chunks aren't always on the surface, they come to the surface in circumstance and we can take joy in that because God seeks to mature us in Him. When those chunks rise to the surface of our hearts, it is painful and our first instinct is to get more angry and continue not forgiving... and the very idea of forgiving makes us cringe and want to fight, it makes us feel weak... but His grace is sufficient!
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV
We can forgive and heal and grow love in place of hate by the grace and power of God... completely saving our children from inheriting that same hate and instead leaving them with LOVE!!! Can you imagine?? So... welcome the very grace of God. He can snuff out racism, sexism, social elitism, etc... He demolishes hate. What a great God we have!!
It just takes one.
One person to hurt you to the core, to tend to the flames of anger in your heart... it just takes one.
And the moment I choose not to forgive, is the moment hate takes root & starts maneuvering in the recesses of my heart. And it spreads and spreads until the roots are everywhere, choking out the life of love.
I might not even realize there is anything to forgive if the pain is from childhood. That kind of unforgiveness is tricky and not easy to realize.
Parents & teachers, even the most well intentioned, can cause much damage in a child's heart... to the point that their child can grow to hate that gender. Creating chauvinism & feminism.
The same can happen with race. Something a child of one race can do to another in hate can cause a ripple to happen making the victimized child not only hate the "perpetrator" but also everyone of that same race.
The same can happen in social class, I'm pretty sure everyone has ideas about each social class including their own... and there is a reason for those ideas.
So the hate grows from not forgiving that one person, hating that one person, to hating all people who are remotely the same; by gender, race, or social status. Then it spreads to your children, your grandchildren, your great-grandchildren, and so on... until someone is conscience enough of it to break the cycle. I know adults who are chauvinists because their fathers were, who are racist because their parents were, who look down on other social classes because their parents did... and for no other reason. AND it all started with that first person not forgiving someone who hurt them.
I'm Thankful for difficult circumstances that give rise to opportunities to give over chunks of hate to the Lord. Those chunks aren't always on the surface, they come to the surface in circumstance and we can take joy in that because God seeks to mature us in Him. When those chunks rise to the surface of our hearts, it is painful and our first instinct is to get more angry and continue not forgiving... and the very idea of forgiving makes us cringe and want to fight, it makes us feel weak... but His grace is sufficient!
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV
We can forgive and heal and grow love in place of hate by the grace and power of God... completely saving our children from inheriting that same hate and instead leaving them with LOVE!!! Can you imagine?? So... welcome the very grace of God. He can snuff out racism, sexism, social elitism, etc... He demolishes hate. What a great God we have!!
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Today was NOT fun...
This book "The Hiding Place" made me recognize something today. There was a moment in the book when Corrie realized her sister was sad for the Nazis because they only knew how to hate; she did not hate them in return! Not only did she not hate them, she anticipated the opportunity to share the Love of God with them so they could heal and know how to love. That kind of forgiveness just out right astonishing if you ask me.
So today an old buried piece of hate in my heart got dug up in a "growth opportunity" today. Without going into detail about how it got dug up... though these type things get dug up in interaction with other people.
The society we live in makes me angry to no end, in the specific area of feminism and chauvinism. Yep, I'm totally going there. This is not how Christ views us at all!! He views us as people and yes as people who by gender have different functions, but no one is less than the other. These -isms that I mentioned before, they DO see gender differently and they each think that their own gender is superior. What a crock!
What's interesting to note is that chauvinists hate feminists, but little do they realize their taunting jabs feed feminism and make it grow! For the chauvinist wants a woman/ wife who will be his maid and mistress alone and he sees little other value in her... this enrages the feminist to prove that she can do anything he can do and do it better. I am no feminist, for the complete feminist looks down on the woman who has the choice to work or be at home with her children & chooses her family, belittling her. You'd think that it was not the case, but it is. Why can't we be happy we have the right to vote and the right to work for a paycheck or work with our children & husband... and be happy for each other no matter what we choose. AND at the same time feminists look down on the stay at home mom, a chauvinist comes and makes a comment in jest that sounds like a woman's worth is lowly because what a woman should be doing is only in the home. It's all cyclical and it enrages me. I do think that women should have the right to vote, and the right to enlist in the military, the equal right to get whatever job she's passionate about & receive equal pay, AND the right to stay home full time!! Any choice she makes should not be looked down on. WHY is there this problem? And not only are these -isms an attack on femininity as God sees it, they are also an attack on Godly masculinity. I was enraged to the point of tears today. Of course tears makes people think that you're hurt and you've taken something personally... but let me tell you, if I get so angry I cry... it. is. not. good. Today was the first time that has happened in probably 15 years-- anger to the point of crying. wow. I did not see that one coming.
When I got home I realized that this altercation made a big fat chunk of hate rise up in me. I used to hate men. I hated them because so many of the men I had met were indeed chauvinistic and had no authentic relational use for women. For so long the Lord has given me great friends and I've seen so many great men who obviously love their wives on a deep relational level and that part of their relationship is the most important thing for them. I'd forgotten that some are just not that way.
It doesn't matter how much this stuff is seemingly obviously faulty; to keep the Love of God growing in my heart, forgiveness is necessary... And like Betsie ten Boom loved people who caused harm to so many, so will I. I choose to love as God loves, that doesn't make these -isms less wrong, but it keeps me out of a huge spiritual pit. As I choose this Love, I also recognize God's power to heal the hearts of men and women to the point that we see each other as Jesus does. And as the Lord removes this nasty chunk of hate from my life, more Love grows. <3
So today an old buried piece of hate in my heart got dug up in a "growth opportunity" today. Without going into detail about how it got dug up... though these type things get dug up in interaction with other people.
The society we live in makes me angry to no end, in the specific area of feminism and chauvinism. Yep, I'm totally going there. This is not how Christ views us at all!! He views us as people and yes as people who by gender have different functions, but no one is less than the other. These -isms that I mentioned before, they DO see gender differently and they each think that their own gender is superior. What a crock!
What's interesting to note is that chauvinists hate feminists, but little do they realize their taunting jabs feed feminism and make it grow! For the chauvinist wants a woman/ wife who will be his maid and mistress alone and he sees little other value in her... this enrages the feminist to prove that she can do anything he can do and do it better. I am no feminist, for the complete feminist looks down on the woman who has the choice to work or be at home with her children & chooses her family, belittling her. You'd think that it was not the case, but it is. Why can't we be happy we have the right to vote and the right to work for a paycheck or work with our children & husband... and be happy for each other no matter what we choose. AND at the same time feminists look down on the stay at home mom, a chauvinist comes and makes a comment in jest that sounds like a woman's worth is lowly because what a woman should be doing is only in the home. It's all cyclical and it enrages me. I do think that women should have the right to vote, and the right to enlist in the military, the equal right to get whatever job she's passionate about & receive equal pay, AND the right to stay home full time!! Any choice she makes should not be looked down on. WHY is there this problem? And not only are these -isms an attack on femininity as God sees it, they are also an attack on Godly masculinity. I was enraged to the point of tears today. Of course tears makes people think that you're hurt and you've taken something personally... but let me tell you, if I get so angry I cry... it. is. not. good. Today was the first time that has happened in probably 15 years-- anger to the point of crying. wow. I did not see that one coming.
When I got home I realized that this altercation made a big fat chunk of hate rise up in me. I used to hate men. I hated them because so many of the men I had met were indeed chauvinistic and had no authentic relational use for women. For so long the Lord has given me great friends and I've seen so many great men who obviously love their wives on a deep relational level and that part of their relationship is the most important thing for them. I'd forgotten that some are just not that way.
It doesn't matter how much this stuff is seemingly obviously faulty; to keep the Love of God growing in my heart, forgiveness is necessary... And like Betsie ten Boom loved people who caused harm to so many, so will I. I choose to love as God loves, that doesn't make these -isms less wrong, but it keeps me out of a huge spiritual pit. As I choose this Love, I also recognize God's power to heal the hearts of men and women to the point that we see each other as Jesus does. And as the Lord removes this nasty chunk of hate from my life, more Love grows. <3
Saturday, November 3, 2012
learning
For all of God's gifts, He gives as there is room in our hearts to receive. We have to give in order to receive. I have to give my impatience in order to receive patience. I have to give misery in order to receive joy. I have to give in order to receive. And it's really not easy to give over these hard things in our hearts, because they come out like the scrapings of shards of glass. Then they are replaced with the Maker's hands-- healing hands. He replaces and heals the wounds of the impatience and misery... and we receive patience and joy.
As a young Christian, He removed impatience from my life on a base level. Most of the time I don't get bothered by the struggling cashier, or traffic, & I don't tend to take hateful comments from strangers personally. He is still working on me in some of those types of areas, as no one is perfect. Where am I today? I'm miserably impatient with myself & with others when the step to take is obvious and yet not taken, when commitments are not taken seriously, or when the same old thing is circled around for the kadrillionth time. I do all of these things... and I hate it & when someone else does them... I hate it! I get impatient with the process of things and I say mean things-- usually to myself & every blue moon out loud about another person. I'm really embarrassed that I do that. It's like... you could tell me anything, nothing surprises me and I don't judge for the content of someone's past or present... but when the way out becomes obvious to the other person and they don't take it, it just drives me bonkers. It drives me totally bonkers when I do it too, and I start falling all apart.... like... "why can't I just stop circling around this same old thing and move on already?"
It's time to take direction from God & give up my own tendency to wander. Please help me to stop wandering, Lord!! Please just carry me out of this cyclical maze I've lost myself in.
Back to the impatience verses patience. These gifts from God come in layers as the yuck in our lives are sloughed off in layers. God is good to us in that HE is always perfectly patient with us; He knows the best way to remove the junk from our hearts is to do it over time and with gentleness. If it all came out at once we wouldn't be able to handle it and we would never develop the perseverance needed to mature in Christ. So, we can learn to be patient with others as HE is patient with us-- it is after all partly how to Love as God Loves.
Just one more thing HE is working to change in me... impatience.
As a young Christian, He removed impatience from my life on a base level. Most of the time I don't get bothered by the struggling cashier, or traffic, & I don't tend to take hateful comments from strangers personally. He is still working on me in some of those types of areas, as no one is perfect. Where am I today? I'm miserably impatient with myself & with others when the step to take is obvious and yet not taken, when commitments are not taken seriously, or when the same old thing is circled around for the kadrillionth time. I do all of these things... and I hate it & when someone else does them... I hate it! I get impatient with the process of things and I say mean things-- usually to myself & every blue moon out loud about another person. I'm really embarrassed that I do that. It's like... you could tell me anything, nothing surprises me and I don't judge for the content of someone's past or present... but when the way out becomes obvious to the other person and they don't take it, it just drives me bonkers. It drives me totally bonkers when I do it too, and I start falling all apart.... like... "why can't I just stop circling around this same old thing and move on already?"
Deuteronomy 2:2-3, "Then the Lord said to me, “You have made your way around this hill country long enough; now turn north."
It's time to take direction from God & give up my own tendency to wander. Please help me to stop wandering, Lord!! Please just carry me out of this cyclical maze I've lost myself in.
Back to the impatience verses patience. These gifts from God come in layers as the yuck in our lives are sloughed off in layers. God is good to us in that HE is always perfectly patient with us; He knows the best way to remove the junk from our hearts is to do it over time and with gentleness. If it all came out at once we wouldn't be able to handle it and we would never develop the perseverance needed to mature in Christ. So, we can learn to be patient with others as HE is patient with us-- it is after all partly how to Love as God Loves.
Just one more thing HE is working to change in me... impatience.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
failing at life
Recently, the Lord has been showing me that I need to restructure my life. I see the importance of changing as all that needs changing are unhealthy habits. Sleep, exercise, food, tv time.... I have an excess of unhealthy habits that none of which are sin exactly... but none of them are benefiting me by any stretch of the imagination.
At first I kept procrastinating the change, unwilling to change right now. And when I asked forgiveness for disobedience, I still complained about it. Just like ancient Israelites coming out of slavery in Egypt-- if I had lived then the earth probably would've swallowed me up by now. I've been a brat about it all-- a screeching toddler not getting her way.
I'm realizing that part of the reason HE wants me to restructure these disciplines is because they are the main things that make me feel like a failure-- too little sleep, no exercise, too much food, way too much tv, not enough time for what's important.... the list actually goes on. I'm sure you can make your own list of things that can make you feel like you're failing at life.
"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you" 1 Peter 5:6-7, NIV.
We can trust Him, because His only intention is to do good to us!!
God is serious in His directing us, because He is bent on helping us to become who we were created to be. The only way to get there is to follow Him!
"Whoever heeds discipline shows the way to life, but whoever ignores correction leads others astray" Proverbs 10:17.
At first I kept procrastinating the change, unwilling to change right now. And when I asked forgiveness for disobedience, I still complained about it. Just like ancient Israelites coming out of slavery in Egypt-- if I had lived then the earth probably would've swallowed me up by now. I've been a brat about it all-- a screeching toddler not getting her way.
I'm realizing that part of the reason HE wants me to restructure these disciplines is because they are the main things that make me feel like a failure-- too little sleep, no exercise, too much food, way too much tv, not enough time for what's important.... the list actually goes on. I'm sure you can make your own list of things that can make you feel like you're failing at life.
"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you" 1 Peter 5:6-7, NIV.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
"There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off" Proverbs 23:18.
God is serious in His directing us, because He is bent on helping us to become who we were created to be. The only way to get there is to follow Him!
"because the Lord disciplines those he loves as a father the son he delights in" Proverbs 3:12.
"Whoever heeds discipline shows the way to life, but whoever ignores correction leads others astray" Proverbs 10:17.
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