i am desperate.

There is a desperation that is ever lingering in each of us.  We are desperate.  Like fish out of water we flip and flap, gasping to breathe-- we are desperate for God.  For some reason we don't recognize that God is who satisfies and we live like a fish swimming around in a bowl of clorox. Eventually we'll die.  We can't go on sucking in any little thing that brings the most remote feeling of satisfaction, but that's what we do.  That's what we do until we turn.  We must turn in order to survive-- turn to God, who is standing with each of us with arms wide open, waiting to be invited in. He wants nothing more than to be with us, to be of service to us so that we can make it through this life, living.  (I say in service because that's what "kind" in the verse 'Love is patient and kind...' means.  The Greek translation means "kind, in full service to others"-- and God is Love.)  In kindness, He helps us to redemption, He helps us to pray, He helps us through this life, He helps us to learn to live holy lives. When we receive Him in to our lives each day, He will be there walking with us and us with Him.  When we withhold ourselves from Him, He is still there but we are not receiving His blessings. He wants to bless us with His comfort and joy, with His fruit, with His peace that passes understanding, with so so much.  This is how to be satisfied, ask God to come into your life, to forgive you of your sins, & in essence give your life to Him. Salvation. This is the start to relationship & now nearly 18 years later  I ask forgiveness when I mess up & I mess up plenty; I ask for His help & which way to go, I give each day to Him anew... a lot goes into having any relationship & the one I have with God is no different.  Jesus made the way.

I've noticed in my prayer life that I am not the tree planted by flowing water.  That is the person who has a reservoir built up, who moves through times of difficulty with grace & "God-confidence", she stays in God's Word and in prayer not because she suddenly had nowhere else to go but because God is her everything. A year ago I was a tree living in the desert and desperate; I'm much much closer to being planted by that stream... but alas the truth is that I'm only nearby.  I believe that getting to the place where I'm planted there also means that I'll stop looking for satisfaction in other things because I'm so satisfied and nourished by my Creator.  Even the tree planted by the stream is desperate for water, it needs it to survive after all.  I can be in the desert desperate and dying or I can be next to the source desperate, fully nourished & fully alive.