spiritually bi-polar

In the last 24 hrs I've felt slightly spiritually bi-polar. Highs where I feel closer to God than ever and lows where He's still just as close, but as I see my surroundings I want to go jump in the belly of a whale. It feels like my heart is breaking.
Jonah ended up in a whale because He was running from God's direction.  My real desire is to follow God's direction, because it is where He's heading with me, it's where I will be at complete peace with Him.  I like being at peace with God-- where the very heart of security lies.  You see, there is no peace apart from Christ, there is only insecurity.  Security is where there is peace which is located in the heart of God.
So, I guess you can say my heart is breaking because I'm divorcing my old self and becoming completely devoted to my Love, my God. And so, at the same time it is breaking God is also redeeming it and making it whole again in the way it was meant to be and clearly growing the fruit of the Spirit, peace & faithfulness, in me!  The fruit grow together after all, because as the Lord is purging out more of my insecurity I am gaining peace; and as He purges out my desire to run, like Jonah did,  He is giving me faithfulness.  The fruit grow together because they are of the same Spirit, because different anti-fruit are being pruned away simultaneously.  God is meticulous like that.   Wholeness is found in Christ. This is where I'm planting myself; in Christ.