intimacy?

So... What is intimacy anyway? I'm probably not really "together" enough to really answer that question, but I think I'm starting to catch on to what it's not.  Beth Moore reviewed a couple of these in her book and they got me thinking...
It's not:
controlling
self-focused
trying to get someone to want me
trying to get someone to be/ do better (BethM)
trying to get someone to make my life better
micro-managing someone
trying to be more important than God to another person
nipping away at someone's convictions like work, family, church, to feel most important. (BethM)
using seduction to gain control (BethM)
feeding on another person's thoughts of me to try to starve out my insecurity
competing to be better than the other person in some way or every way. 

All these things are intimacy destroyers.  I so want my relationships with people and especially with God to be free of all of these things.  I can't truly say I'm close with someone if any of these things are hindering the relationship.  How can I get close to God if I'm after my own way all the time, never consulting Him, never falling in Love with Him enough for Him to make His ways my ways?  Besides that, He knows everything; past, present, & future; why wouldn't I want His ways to become mine? He Loves me enough to sacrifice Himself for me, of course I completely want Him. He is completely trustworthy.  I am confident that when we find our security completely in Christ, we will truly be able to cherish, support, and pray for others (BethM), He will surely create pure intimacy without all the things on the list and those I didn't name hindering it.