till, dig, pull

The Parable of the Sower:
Jesus taught, "A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds same and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop-- a hundred sixty or thirty times what was sown. He who has ears, let him hear" (Matthew 13:3-9, NIV). "Listen to what the parable of the sower means: When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. this is the seed sown along the path. The one who received the seed that fell on rocky places is the man who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. But since he has no root he lasts only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, he quickly falls away. The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful. But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it. He produces a crop ,yielding a hundred, sixty, or thirty times what was sown" (Matthew 13:18-23, NIV).

So the question I asked as I read this is, then if I want to grow- and I do-- then what do I need to do to be the person whose heart is like the good soil? The answer: Ask God to give me understanding so that the path is tilled up. Ask God to dig out the 'rocks' in our lives that prevent depth of soil. Rocks prevent growth and must be removed, I'm thinking that this could possibly be lies we believe that take up space instead of truth. Ask God to pull up the thorns of worldly wants in our lives so that true fruitfulness doesn't get choked out. I want the soil of my life to be capable of producing and growing a hearty crop of the Fruit of the Spirit. Lord, please remove & till the places of my heart that need it... I want so much to be filled by You.

I've noticed that so much of the pruning God does in our lives is by allowing emotions to arise that connect to things that have corrupted our lives.  I struggled most of my life with believing that anyone loved me and fought to be worthy of love.  The reason for this has to do with certain things that happened in my childhood that I won't go in to.  It resulted in seeking love which led to perfectionism and approval addiction. This resulted in a big fat rock in my life that stunted my spiritual growth.  I'm replacing this junk with the truth of God's consuming Love and approval of us which is due to the gift of Christ. "For God so Loved the World that He gave His only Son..."  There is no earning His Love, He Loves us whether we work for it til kingdom come or not.  I want my tenacity for giving back to Him through my being to be solely a result of completely receiving His gift of Love.  He started working on this stuff in me (that I was aware of) 6 wks ago. It's very freeing to let go of this push to earn Love... and opportunities arise here and there where I can choose to give more of it to God as He draws it from my heart.  He brings us all to choices like this.  Lets get the rocks out so we can grow.