happily married

I realized something this week.
Christmas Day 10 years ago, Scott and I had known each other for 7 months. We were engaged & planning our wedding. I love being married to him & I give all my thanks to God for him, because I would have never married him on my own. It was God who pointed out to me that I loved him; I argued with God about that, until I realized it was true.  I loved Scott. How?  In my brokenness I did not see it, but I loved Him like one person loves another & not romantically at all.  He had become my best friend and biggest cheerleader, I admired him more than anyone, and there was no romance.  I finally followed Christ into a relationship--there's a first for everything.  And it was there that I found the man who far exceeded my wildest dreams.

Of course, we've been married for 9 1/2 years now and when I've given thanks for him I've loved him the more and been happy in our marriage.  When I became critical, judging, & unthankful; I also became unhappy.  Scott hasn't ever really changed; he's had his own life up and downs but none of that made me feel a certain way about him.  How I chose to view him whether critically or complementary made me happy or unhappy-- nothing more.

I've been thinking about this all week, trying to figure out how my happiness in marriage has played out.  I'm thankful for my husband and try to focus on the qualities about him & our life together that are my favorite.  I'm still learning to give thanks in every circumstance-- when his toothbrush is gross, or his attitude reeks-- they are opportunities for my character to grow and learn how the Lord would have me to react (usually it's to dismiss it or counter & be encouraging). Potential character development is something to be thankful for.   Scott gets irritated with me a lot-- I would too, if I lived with me-- but he has 99.9% of the time not criticized me to my face, but rather taken his frustration to God. Taking my marital frustration to God almost always causes me to see my own downfall and take responsibility for "my side of the street".  I've learned a lot about how to happily live with someone from Scott. He's awesome like that. :)