Scott and I have been happily married for nearly 9 years now.
We met 10 years ago on May 25 on the National Mall right in front of the Washington Monument. Yep! This was indeed a divine appointment and a really cool one at that. When we met we were instant friends; I was able to become very close friends with him over the summer mainly because I had no romantic interest in him whatsoever. In the first few minutes I wondered why he seemed so interested in me, but we talked for a long while and when the people he was with went to get ice cream he invited me to come along. Most guys will offer to buy ice cream if they're interested in a girl, but he bought mine and all the rest of the girls. This one simple act showed me that he was NOT charming which is deceitful, but that he is chivalrous. Ten years later this still holds true. Yep! I am immensely and undeservedly blessed beyond measure. He is a wonderful man of God and I love him to my core. I'm not saying that we haven't had a rough patch, every marriage has them. With God's help we muttled through pushing for a happy marriage and gleaning from any and all wisdom that could get us there and keep us there. It is my humble opinion that if you're not working toward a happy marriage then you're working toward divorce. What I mean by a happy marriage does not completely mean happy self. If you're worried about making yourself happy, you're not working toward a happy marriage you're working toward a happy you. Marriage is team work. Unfortunately, I have not always partnered with my husband in pursuit of a happy marriage, but during those times I wasn't even partnering with myself for a happy me, I was just breathing in and out severely depressed. I'm totally guilty of shutting it all down. He is wonderful, but has had his own separate stuff as well. We both are reaching for God now. Scott has always known exactly what his commitment to me as my husband is: to Love his wife as Christ Loved the church and gave Himself up for it. I attended a wedding on Saturday and as I listened to the husband's vows I can tell you wholeheartedly that Scott has kept every single one of them every single day of our marriage. He is a fine Biblical example of what a husband is called to be for his wife. I on the other hand came into our marriage with a whole lot of baggage from childhood pain that had not yet been healed and had little to no respect for any man. Seriously. When I married Scott I had more respect for him than I did for any man I had known up until that point, but not the kind of respect a wife is called to have for her husband. God has had to tear down strongholds in my life concerning men, I still don't trust many, but I fully trust, love, and respect my husband today. Respecting our husbands and listening to their advice is one of the things we are called to do and we trust God above all else with this act for God is our protector above all. I was reading last week that the reason for this is because the woman (Eve) was deceived and it is the man who is supposed to protect her from that. The moment I started recognizing that in our marriage my entire paradigm of his role in my life shifted. I had already been respecting him more than ever before in the last several months, but I can see now exactly how my husband is my protector and am noticing how he can keep me from flipping out over things that are so easy to get carried away into. He is our family's spiritual leader and always has been, but now I'm finally recognizing it. Our marriage keeps getting better because I'm willing (sometimes still hesitantly) but willing to pull myself out of a situation and look at it from his point of view and more often than not I'll realize that I was in the middle of believing something that wasn't true (deception). This is a long way off from my old view of every man that they were all out to just take advantage of you and throw you away like garbage, this idea I had of men could be pictured on about a million different levels. God has obviously done a major work in me to take me from fear of being taken advantage of (this applied to my awesome husband too, up to just a couple of months ago) to full on (though sometimes imperfect) respect and submission to the man I married. Our marriage is the work of an awesome God (on my part as well as Scott's), through and through.
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