redemptive removal

Today I noticed a major release from the competitive part of my pride. I wasn't looking for it, but noticed it wasn't there.  wow!  I don't have to be the best at something... anything, I can just be.  I can just be! Relief!  I'm pretty sure asking God for forgiveness for my pridefulness was the key here! Removal of pride is surely an act of God, I surely did nothing to make that happen.

I so want to find significance through Him, leaving the need to be the best at something behind.
In this season my significance has everything to do with raising 4 children to be well rounded adults and to lead them to Christ as best we can.  It also has everything to do with being a godly wife and mother and friend... and to stay committed to writing what God is daily doing in my life here on this blog.  None of which I can successfully and fully do without Him.  Living in this season of life has never ending laundry, dishes, cluttery messes strewn through the house, time is filled to the brim and simple tasks like getting in the car take 100x longer than they used to... All of these things are things to be thankful for; what Ann Voskamp would call "ugly beautiful" Is it fun to never be finished with laundry having a full load to put in a couple times a day? no. That laundry; however, is a sign that 6 people live in my home 5 of which are the loves of my life.  I could make a list of 1000 things solely about them. I am thankful for my life as it is.  Do I have regret that has crushed me under its weight? yes. I did, but Christ lifted that regret off of me.  I had a childhood/ adolescence full of emotional pain that attempted to smother me to death... Christ saved me in the middle of that and has slowly changed my heart of bitterness, resentment, and regret. Jesus saves. Do I still have "life happen"? yes. Life is not pain free and no one's life runs the way they would wish it, regardless I'll keep it just the way it is because Christ led me to where I am and I feel more settled here than I ever have in my life.
Thankful for the painful & easy removal of all this yuck in my heart for what is filling the empty places is far more wonderful.