Strength

Today I had the opportunity to get some home school planning done! It was so nice to have the time to do it!  What I need to get done is not even close to complete, but the curriculum for next year has been chosen, the breaks have been scheduled, & summer school goals have been set.  I think I've decided that year round school is a good idea in theory so we're going to give it a go.  It'll make traveling here and there more doable anyway; we'll see how it goes.
As I planned today, I noticed that I was partly excited and partly dreadful about this next round of home schooling.  I recognized that I don't really feel like pushing ahead, I don't feel like staying organized, I don't feel like being perfectly consistent; it hit me I don't really feel like being disciplined.  Maybe this is a way God is implementing the fruit of the spirit, self-control?  I recognize that the way I and maybe most people view self control is restraint from doing something wrong that I'm tempted to do, but is that really the only way to have self-control?  Control of one's self may just be doing something that I don't feel like doing, but I suppose that is restraint from laziness isn't it? hm. sorry, I'm just thinking "out loud" here.  Each summer I consider sending the children to traditional school and the main reason I want to choose it is for my own laziness.  I am not saying that those who send their children to traditional school are lazy mind you, but that the reason I would is for sake of my own laziness.  I think we each try to make the best decision for our children/ family that we can and for some of us the best thing is traditional school!!   There are so many other things I'd rather do in my day, not to mention I love living a spontaneous day, but I think God is teaching me discipline and self control by using my decision to home school.  It becomes very taxing to stay so perfectly on top of it while there are so many things besides school to be on top of.  Last year I learned that having a set plan works wonders and not having a set plan makes the wonder turn to confusion and things dont really work out quite as smoothly.  The push of all of it is fun in many ways and strenuous in others, I'm confident that the strain produces strength. One of the ways God is making me strong using this season of home schooling for something in my future, because according to Deuteronomy 31:8 He is not only here with me in my present but already ahead of me in my future!
I'm so so thankful that He truly carries me daily and that He has all my days completely in His hands! Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
What is He doing in your life that is producing present strain, but will eventually produce strength for something in your future?