vomit

When God purges the ugly out of me it is similar to vomiting. Yep, I said it. Vomit.  I hate, hate, hate to vomit. HATE! but don't we usually feel better after its said and done with? Our stomach turns because of a virus or something bad we ate and attempts to rid the body of the toxin.  That's what God does for us; He rids us of the toxic thoughts, and habits, and all unconscience ugly. As each part is purged He replaces it with more of Himself until we achieve complete intimacy with Him.  In her book Ann confirms and describes this notion I've had for so long, confirmed the accuracy of this prayer I've prayed for so long.  Me, "Lord please take all this 'yuck' out of my life and replace it with You." The part that I didn't realize of this means is what the end would be which is the intimacy with God.  I can't really describe what that looks like, because though I'm working toward it I've never achieved that full intimacy with Him only bits of intimacy here and there.  Ann has... read her book, "One Thousand Gifts"... she found it and testifies of it!!

Currently God is purging me of this insecurity issue I have, of feeling rejected, living in depression replaying the ugly self hate thoughts on a continuous reel in my mind, of this complaining heart, of the consistent bad attitude, of this bitterness that keeps returning like that cat that came back... It feels like vomiting, but I'm willing to be purged of this yuck to receive more of Him to gain the sweet succulent fruit of the Spirit in its place.  He promises unity with Him, more comes even after salvation until we find full intimacy with Him.  1 Corinthians 6:17, "But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him."  John 14:20, "I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you."  John 15:4, "Remain in me, and I will remain in you."

Ann found this sheer, pure, full, satisfying intimacy with Him through practicing and then living thanks giving to Him for all the little things in life that He gives to us to bless our lives, like the sound of the ocean roaring onto the sands of the beach & gleeful squeals and giggles from young children, and, and, and... I've started my own list and am bumping it up a notch as she did leading the way for anyone to follow straight to intimate living with/ in Christ.  After I've gained health after the vomit, these spiritual toxins I carry around will be gone away from me, I will have found more joy having day by day given thanks to the One Who gave it all.  Gaining a little more joy and a little more intimacy with each passing day as I lose what I don't want anyway! It's an unfair trade with a wonderful God.

Seeking more of Him. Daily.

My list is under one of those black links to the right.